Strengthening Your Integrity in just 5 Minutes a Day

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/1b0ld246twb

In my work as a life coach, I help people shift their limiting beliefs through strategic mindset work in order to create transformation in their lives – whatever that means to them.  Some clients desire transformation in the area of their health and fitness, others in their relationships, some in their work situation, while others need to break down their long-held limiting beliefs around money or their new business.  But, in all cases, it all boils down to shifting their beliefs in themselves and their abilities.

Side note:  Yesterday’s episode on Sara Blakely’s mindset shifts and development, that helped her make millions with her company Spanx, are great examples of how a growth mindset makes you unstoppable, tenacious, accepting of failure as a means to learn and grow.  If you haven’t listened to this episode, be sure to check it out.

So, let me just say…

Mindset is 100% of the equation.

Today, I’d like to show you how beginning a new habit for just 5 minutes a day will strengthen your integrity and restore your faith in yourself and your abilities.
As an example, I am going to take working out for just 5 minutes a day to demonstrate how such a short period of time and commitment will restore your integrity and dignity in yourself.

However, if you prefer a 5-minute practice of journalling, meditating, creative writing, even reading, that’s fine and this mini-mindset lesson will work perfectly for any habit you’d like to start and gain some momentum in to create change and transformation in your life.

So, find one small way to show up for yourself each and every day.  It’s something that must be doable, realistic, and attainable.  And remind yourself, if you are doing 1% better today over yesterday, then YOU ARE WINNING. 

Your expectations must be realistic because I’m all about creating REAL habits that create REAL results.

The transformation will happen in both your heart and your head.  We want to generate an internal change about how you feel and love yourself.  Our intentions and actions will impact our hearts, minds, and ultimately our souls.  This will become clearer as we dive deeper into the episode.

You see, creating change from the inside out is essential for any habits to take hold and become part of you. Far too many times, people fall into the traps of not creating internal change first before diving into a new habit on only a surface level.

5 minutes a day is everything.

As humans, we try and fail, try and fail, try and fail to the point where we feel we aren’t worthy or valuable.  We believe that we can’t accomplish anything and begin to hate ourselves.

You might be here right now.  You have quit on yourself far too often giving up after a short period of time labelling yourself as a quitter.  Self-sabotage has become your M.O.

In such cases, we are lacking the most important thing in our lives.  We are not yet aware of the sticky glue that will hold our lives, goals and commitments together.  We don’t yet know the key to success in any area of our lives.

What is the magical ingredient?  INTEGRITY

Integrity is doing what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it.

You might be one of the millions of people who are struggling with their own integrity.  We are all humans; we all struggle with this.

But the truth is until you figure this out, you will continue to struggle to reach your goals.

You can accomplish anything you put your mind to. You can set your mind to something and do it – even the big things, not just small things.

The problem is quite simple.  If you stopped and asked yourself why you’ve started and failed so many times, you could figure it out.

You’ve spent your life taking on way too much, so many commitments at once in order to create the change you want.

Going back to my example of working out and becoming fitter.  You may have spent hours at the gym, taking all the classes, running or walking, cycling or spinning. You’ve put yourself on a restrictive diet, depriving yourself of a lot.  

You literally want to take on any and all possible commitments so you can get to your goals faster, but that’s just not sustainable.
This is a recipe for disaster and self-sabotage. 

I promise if you continue to take on more than what it sustainable for you, you are bound to fail. 
There is a silver-lining though.  You can do something about it!

So, many clients ask me, “How is 5 minutes actually going to help me, Lisa?”

When you take a leap of faith, you trust me and start small, you’re actually going to start playing a big game.
Instead of committing to everything at once, which we know now is a recipe for disaster -> commit to 5 minutes a day.

What will happen?  You actually start doing what you said you were going to do.  You start having that thing called integrity show up in your life.  And when you have integrity, you build dignity, which is the love you have for yourself.

You actually start to LOVE yourself. How amazing would that be?

Then you start to realize you are good enough and you can accomplish anything.  Once you know this, you say to yourself, “If I can do this,…”  “If I can actually make and keep a promise to myself, what else can I do?”

Then the world becomes your oyster.

This is what I call “Integrity Momentum”.  You may have heard of the Law of Inertia in physics classes.  Well, it tells us that an object in motion, stays in motion.  Whether good or bad, whatever we have going on keeps going on.

So, now that we have integrity going on and dignity going on, we love ourselves and it can keep going.

When you cross something off your to-do list, how does that feel?  I know for me; it feels pretty good.

How does it feel when you complete something you said you were going to do?

These are all wins.  And after a handful of wins under your belt and days of keeping the commitment to yourself, this is a powerful feeling and has massive value for your mind and soul.

You won’t be able to ignore the thoughts running through your head.  We have to shift our thoughts to:
->  I am a promise-keeper.
->  I do what I say I’m going to do.
->  I am the most important person in my world, and I will value & treat myself as such.

This is INTEGRITY.

After you’ve proven to yourself that you’re a promise keeper, you will start setting your sights higher, deservedly because you CAN and SHOULD.
Before you know it, you’re going to be accomplishing things you never ever thought possible AND faster than before.  Much faster than the time when you thought you had to take on the whole world at once.

You see, what I am going to say may seem very counterintuitive but…

You have to slow down to go faster.
 You have to do less to accomplish more.

And it all starts with just 5 minutes.

Remember that it’s all about showing up and making commitments that are ridiculously simple, so ridiculously simple in fact, that you can keep them and show up no matter what the day throws your way.

The goal is to keep yourself winning, each and every day.

In case you haven’t heard it from anyone yet today, let me be the first to tell you…
You are an amazing human being, so full of potential.  I believe in you.  So, now go out and show the world what you are truly made of.

I hope to have inspired you to grow.  

And, til next time.

Lisa
xoxo
 

The Making of a Billion Dollar Mindset – feat. Sara Blakely

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/kGzl6BC5twb

In today’s episode of the Inspiration2Grow podcast, I am going to zero in on 3 major shifts in Sara Blakely’s mindset that helped her take her company, Spanx, to great heights and be listed on “Time 100” – a list of top 100 of the most influential people in the world.  She was also granted the title of the world’s youngest self-made billionaire by Forbes in 2012.  I think you’ll find this episode very enlightening.

Sara Blakely’s story is one of failure and grit.  Surprisingly, the founder of Spanx doesn’t attribute her phenomenal success to goal setting or self-discipline as many might assume, but to her mindset, which began to shift and develop at the young age of 16.  Things changed for her when she began listening to personal growth audio cassettes in her car for hours on end. 

The first and likely the most powerful mindset shift that Sara experienced was taught to her by her father.  As they were gathered around the table for dinner, he would post the question to her and her brother:

1.        What did you fail at this week?  Sara’s father would give them a high 5 when they told him about something they attempted but it didn’t go so well, or they may have been terrible at.  Instead of coaching or correcting them, her father celebrated their effort.
 
Sara claims this reframed her definition of failure stating, “Failure for me became NOT trying, versus the outcome.”

Don’t focus so much on the outcome because you are then afraid to fail.

This mindset shift helped a lot when it came to the 7 years of door-to-door selling that Sara found herself doing after college.  Many doors were slammed in her face along the way.

Develop the ability to:  get up, dust off and try again.

We have to learn to take full responsibility for our actions and realize every failure or less-than-stellar attempt at doing something provides us with a huge opportunity to grow and learn.  This is where mental resilience comes into play.  Sure, we get knocked down but can we get back up, dust ourselves off and take on the next attempt with re-newed vigor.

The acronym F.A.I.L. stands for ‘first attempt at learning’.  We should remind ourselves of this and embrace failing as a means to learn.  This ties into the growth mindset nicely, which is all about learning HOW to fail well, and knowing that learning from failure is what leads to eventual success.  This is summed up in the sentence I encourage everyone to adopt, children, teens and adults alike, “I can’t do that…. YET.”

The best success stories often begin with failure.

Failure paves the path to success, but as we all know, failure can be quite a lot to handle at times.  It can get you down and start a pity party or back you into a corner of despair, hopelessness and low self-esteem.  In short, failing at anything is daunting no matter how you look at it. But, if you’re ever feeling down about a failure, I want you to remember that the best success stories often begin with failure. And, great women such as the likes of: Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Lucille Ball, Vera Wang, Arianna Huffington failed many times before they ultimately succeeded in their respective fields of brilliance.

Fear of failure makes you fail … because you won’t even attempt things you’d like to do.
 
I think society needs to start redefining failure as they did at the Blakely household.  There is a very negative stigma associated with the words:  fail and failure. The fear of failure often stems from a deep-rooted fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment.  Failing can trigger feelings of worthlessness, so avoiding trying to do the activity in the first place serves as a means to protect oneself from sadness, regret, disappointment.

So, let’s flip the script on failure and start asking the question of yourself and your family… What did you fail at this week?  Celebrate the efforts in trying new things. 

2.       The second mindset shift that helped Sara Blakely especially when she was starting her new company was, “Do not care what other people think”.  This was a huge piece of her mindset that she says, still to this day, is important and takes constant work.  However, she comments, adopting this attitude is extremely freeing because you no longer care what others think of you and what you are doing, and you take more risks with this mindset.
 
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
 
Unfortunately, we live in other people’s heads.  Let me give you a few examples of what I mean by this.
 
Ø  We carefully choose what we wear to the gym to look our best in the eyes of the other gym goers.
Ø  We beat ourselves up after a meeting at work going through everything we said, worried about what coworkers think of us.
Ø  We post the absolute best photo out of 35 plus selfies we took, adding a flattering filter to gain more likes and approval from others that we are attractive.
We live our lives worrying far too much what others think of us.  This makes us judge ourselves even more harshly.  It causes us to feel uncomfortable in our own bodies.  It causes us to feel apologetic and makes us live according to OUR perception of other people’s standards.  It results in feelings of: anxiety, lower self-esteem, being inauthentic, I’m not likable enough, I’m not intelligent enough, I’m not pretty enough.

The truth is, and I really want you to internalize this, other people’s opinions of us are none of our business. Their opinions have absolutely nothing to do with us and everything to do with them.

                At the end of the day, YOU have to be in love with yourself.

                You have to admire the way you do things and be the best possible version of who YOU can be.

I realize it’s not easy to ignore other’s opinions about you but here’s where a bit of mindset work comes into play.  Set up some boundaries for your thoughts.

-> Know your core values and see them as a bright, shining light that is guiding you through a forest.  The brighter the light, the clearer the path.
-> Know that you have complete control over your feelings so don’t allow others to get you down. Stay in charge of your mind and reactions to others. 
-> Know that you are doing your best and feel great about it.  No matter what response you may receive for your well-intended actions, remind yourself of this and don’t take it personally.
-> Know that everyone makes mistakes.  Even though we don’t talk about it enough, we all make them, big or small.  The world will not come to an end.
The bottom line is: stop caring what other people think and live life on your terms.  It will change your life.  Sara Blakely is a testament to this.
 
3.       Become a No-Limit Person – At the age of 16, Sara Blakely received a set of audio cassettes from her father.  She listened to the voice of Wayne Dyer, creator of “Becoming a No-Limit Person”, for hours on end until she had completely memorized his teachings.
In a nutshell, these cassettes were all about taking back your power.  We’re living in a society in which we attribute the things that happen to us to others. We also put limits on how much we can accomplish in life.  What if…you decided there was no limit to what you could achieve?  How much more would you be able to accomplish in life?
Three key principles Dyer talks about in depth:
 
* Recognize your capacity for growth
* Everyone can achieve high limits
* Why complain over things you have no control over
 
These endless hours of personal development were so impactful on her, she even presented the idea of teaching this to her school principal.  Sara commented, “In school they teach us WHAT to think, Dyer and his cassettes taught me HOW to think.”  She continues by adding, “Self-education is so important to your development as a person and it’s the very thing that will set you apart from everyone else.”
 
She strongly believes the more you experience in life, the more you have to offer others. 

So, invest in yourself…it’s the most important investment you’ll ever make. ~Jim Rohn

With that quote, I will wrap up today’s talk.  I hope you enjoyed the examples from Sara Blakely’s life that shifted her way of approaching things like:  failure, limiting beliefs and other’s opinions. 

And, I will leave you as I always do…
Just in case you haven’t heard it yet today, let me be the first to say it…

You are an amazing human being, full of potential.  I believe in you.  Now, go out and show the world what you are truly made of.

I hope to have inspired you to grow.

Til next time,

Lisa
xoxo

 
 

5 Morning Habits Worth Considering

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/LPMfzsPZtwb

Have you ever come across the quote, “Win the morning, win the day”?  If we take a deeper look at this quote, it implies that a winning morning routine is the key to crushing the day.  What this looks like can be very different for each of us. I’ll talk about some valid reasons why you should re-think your morning routine and offer 5 habits to consider implementing for increased energy, productivity and self-care during the day.

I have only recently started rising before the crack of dawn to have pensive, quiet time for my writing.  There is a feeling of blissful solitude while I sip my morning coffee and the message is pouring out of my heart through my fingers on the keyboard.  After spending about 60 productive minutes working on my writing, I go to our basement gym and cycle my little heart out for about 45 minutes.  After accomplishing these two morning tasks, I feel on top of the world.  Not only because I followed my plan, but also because I could check off two of my MITs (Most Important Task) before anything could get in the way. My motto for the rest of the day —  Come what may, I have won the day!

Is it essential to start winning your day before the sun rises?  Not necessarily.  Everyone’s sleep routine and bedtimes are going to vary.  However, I will say this… If you don’t begin before 8 am, you had better be able to religiously carve out an hour or two eliminating ALL distractions that may occur from that point on.  You will have to be the master of setting boundaries during your ME time.  Life can get hectic at the drop of a coin and suddenly what seemed like a normal morning can take a turn for the worse quickly.
 
Some reasons why starting your morning before everyone else is advantageous:

1.        You will be uninterrupted because most people are still in slumber mode.  This allows you to move around the house in stealth mode to get your morning started in the best possible way.
2.       Your thoughts are fresh and clear after a good night’s sleep.  This means you can fully concentrate more on the task and do it with intention: meditation, reading, praying, moving your body, stretching, yoga, writing, journaling, lighting a candle and thinking about the day ahead, etc.
3.       Our minds are pure and not yet inundated with the day’s events. Our daily lives are made up of so many insignificant but also crucial tasks that require deeper thought and consideration.  Decisions must be made, plans must be put in place, strategies executed in order for the day to go well both at work and for the family.
4.       Our bodies are strong and rejuvenated.  We are ready to tackle the day, and this might mean early morning exercise for some people, which is easier to accomplish if the body is well-rested as opposed to being exhausted after a long workday.
5.       Jump starting your day in a positive state of mind will have ripple effects on all other activities throughout your day.

You owe it to yourself to begin each day in top form with clarity about your priorities, energized and jazzed, mentally calm to take on anything the day throws at you.

I believe that “Success leaves clues”.  It’s one of the most powerful ideas meaning, if you can learn the methods that someone else used to succeed, then you can do the same thing.

So, if we want to achieve more success in our lives, all we need to do is find a way to model those who have already succeeded.

With this in mind, I did some research, talked to some women and found a common theme.  Today, I would like to present the 5 most common morning habits successful women practice, and I have also started implementing a few of these into my own early morning routine. 

The tone we set for our entire day begins with our morning routine and the thoughts we feed our minds with from the second we wake up. How you set up and spend your morning will ultimately influence the rest of your day.

Having a winning morning routine, one that is suited to your needs and priorities, isn’t about adding more items to your already full to-do list.  It’s about establishing a solid morning routine which will boost your mood, provide you with much-needed energy to tackle the day, decrease anxiety, increase levels of productivity AND make you feel better overall. It also puts you in control of the day, it keeps you on track and puts you in the right frame of mind for the day.

Here are 5 morning habits worth considering:

-> Get up early  – Now, I do realize the sheer thought of rising and shining before the crack of dawn may be an absolutely daunting thought for some of you.  And, I am the first one to admit that it’s not easy.  But establishing new habits is never easy.  They only become more palatable once you begin to see a difference in your life.

Getting up early will help you set the stage for a productive, successful day.  There is something quite special about the peace and quiet a household offers in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else, your dog and cat included, are still slumbering and dreaming sweetly. 
THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE AND WORK ON YOUR GOALS.

-> Leave your phone alone – Do a digital detox by switching your phone to airplane mode until you are done with your morning routine whatever that is going to entail and however long it will take.  Distractions such as text messages, calls, emails, etc. will derail all your good intentions and interfere with the sacred ‘me time’ you are trying to implement.  It’s also a good idea to leave your phone in the bathroom overnight as opposed to being close by on your night table.  Get used to time away from social media and being available 24/7. 

-> Workout early to get it done – You may have heard the saying, “Get your workout in before your inner bitch knows what’s going on and convinces you otherwise.”  This will keep you energized throughout the day due to the release of endorphins exercise brings.  I can’t stress how much moving your body sets you and your self-confidence up for an awesome day and whatever comes your way.

-> Write a priority list – This is fairly straightforward, but I think people underestimate the importance of listing out their must-do items.  Once you are aware of the priorities for the day, you can concentrate on accomplishing these.  If they aren’t in writing, left front and center for constant viewing, your day might get busy and hectic, taking your focus off what matters most.  One NEW priority I’d like you to consider is allocating ‘tiger time’, which is me time for you that nobody can take away.  Make yourself a priority! 

We have heard the term self-care being thrown around a lot but there’s so much truth in it:  you can’t take care of others until you take care of yourself first.  Tiger time might be a walk in the park, a cup of tea while reading a book, journalling, meditating, doing your creative hobby with NO disturbances.  Tiger time can be any length of time and can be scheduled at various times of the days.  But remember to be as fierce as a tiger when it comes to sticking to this much-needed me time during your day.
 
-> Meditate & Visualize – Take a few minutes to begin with if you are new to meditating.  Close your eyes and allow your thoughts to wonder.  Be free and open to explore whatever pops into your head.  You can turn on calming, quiet music in the background.  There are no right or wrong methods of meditating.  I simply want you to sit, relax and be present with your thoughts. 

Set the timer for 2 – 5 minutes to start with and work your way up to a longer time period if you enjoy it
Once your time of meditation is up, I would like you to keep your eyes closed and paint a picture in your mind of how you want to show up for the day ahead. I call this -> forward reflection <-
 
What will my new self look like? ~Polished and vibrant (new outfit, well put together)
How will she show up today? ~Strong and confident (stand tall, body language)
How will she speak to others? ~Eloquently and with conviction
How will she be a bold example to others?
 
With this short visualization exercise, you picture yourself, your new self, as the person you aspire to be. 
 
So, let’s recap the 5 morning habits that could have a hugely positive impact on your entire day, not just the early hours.
 
v  Get up early
v  Do a digital detox
v  Work out
v  Write a priority list
v  Meditate & visualize

But, a successful morning routine really starts the night before.

In order for your mornings to be a special time for you to carve out time for yourself and get ready for the day ahead, it’s imperative to put a few things in place the night before.

1.        Workout clothes and water bottle should be ‘grab-and-go’ ready. 
2.       Your outfit for the day should be planned and laid out. Whether that’s for work or home, think ahead and lay out your clothing so time won’t be wasted and decisions about this will not distract or side track you the following day
3.       In order to have improved sleep, I want you to set a notebook or notepad on your night table.  Do a brain dump before falling asleep on all the things you want to remember to do the next day:  appointments you have to make, groceries you need to pick up, calls you want to make, etc.  Having these on paper will allow your brain to rest better during the night and knowing what needs to be done will help you create your priority list the following morning.
 
So, that’s a wrap for today’s talk on reasons why you should start getting up earlier and squeezing in some much-needed quality time to set the right tone for your day and 5 morning habits of successful women, like you and me.

I’ll leave you as I always do…

In case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to say it…

You are amazing, capable and extraordinary.  I believe in you.  Now, go out and show the world what you are made of.

Til next time,

Lisa
xoxo

Being a Perfectionist is NOT a Badge of Honour

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/BTOQqk9Xtwb

I used to think being labelled as a perfectionist meant you were somehow better than the rest, meticulous and extremely detail-oriented,  always striving to produce perfect work and optimal results in all things.  It was like a medal of honour given to those who only handed in assignments, submitted completed projects, went after their goals when everything was ideal, perfect in all aspects, above reproach, or criticism.  Perfectionists were no strangers to massive success, accolades, credentials and positive outcomes.

Today, I know that being a perfectionist is actually holding people back from achieving their goals and feeling a sense of accomplishment because, for them, nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever worthy enough, nothing is ever deserving of praise.  They are constantly striving for an unrealistic, unattainable standard and therefore, will never be content.

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous.  It’s about fear.  Fear of making a mistake.  Fear of disappointing others.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success.” ~Michael Law

In my preparation of this topic, I came across a definition of perfectionism that I feel is spot on.

Perfectionism is a set of mental and behavioural habits that insist upon unrealistically high standards for personal conduct and achievement.  Should a person not meet these standards, they may harshly self-critique.  This leads to low self-esteem, procrastination, burnout, and emotional disorders.

Perfectionists have an ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality.  For them, something is either perfect or a failure.

Let’s do a little test to see if you have any perfectionistic traits.

Perfectionists…

Ø  Are never done. Due to the impossibly high standards, a project is never complete because it doesn’t meet the criteria for “perfect”.
Ø  Are stressed and discontent.  They are constantly worrying about having/doing everything to such a level of perfection and this mindset robs perfectionists of feeling satisfied and fulfilled with their work.
Ø  Have stifled creativity. If you are afraid of failing or being less than perfect, your imagination, creativity as well as innovation necessary for positive change and success are greatly hindered.
Ø  Never take risks. Perfectionists have a deep fear of failure and therefore adopt a mindset of “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I won’t even try.”
Ø  Try to make everybody happy.  Always the people pleaser, always wanting people to think highly of them, the perfectionist views herself as “good” if others like her.
Ø  Are highly critical of others, not just of themselves. 
Ø  Don’t/can’t delegate tasks.  They feel that in order to meet their high expectations, they have to do everything themselves because their way is the only right way of doing a task.
Ø  Personalize everything. They believe in themselves when things are going well and people like them, but any negative feedback is taken personally and is an indication of failure.
Ø  Never take time to rest or play.  They have the attitude, “I will rest or play when the job is done.”  But for perfectionists, the job IS never done, IS never perfect enough, and this often results in burnout.

Perfectionism can be coined: the unproductive mindset.  Why?  Because perfectionists get a job 90% done but due to their obsession with perfection, don’t manage to complete it.  Or, they never begin a task for fear of not being able to meet their high expectations.

Perfectionism is born out of a mindset that requires working hard at all costs.  There is an illusion surrounding perfectionism, “If I don’t work hard enough and demand perfection of myself and my work, then I or my work will be mediocre, at best.”

So, let me refer back to my statement at the very beginning of this episode:  Being a perfectionist is not a badge of honour.

In fact, “Perfectionism is the lowest standard for humans because it doesn’t exist.” ~ Tony Robbins

It is a disguised label for “I am not good enough” and a deep-rooted fear of judgement that is holding us back.

I’d like to challenge you to shift your mindset from perfectionistic behaviour to a ‘go-for-it’ mentality.

For the purpose of this podcast, I would like to touch on 5 ways perfectionism affects our mindset followed by some ways to overcome perfectionism when it’s holding you back with some simple, effective exercises and a bit more awareness.

1.)    Perfectionists set unrealistic expectations.  Harbouring the belief that “you can be perfect at any task” leads to disappointment as well as frustration with the results you get.  Perfectionists believe they can always do better.  This means that the goal or end of the task keeps shifting no matter how they improve.
2.)    Perfectionists have a fear of failure.  Many perfectionists never even start with a new task or hobby for fear of not succeeding at it.  Their anxiety levels are far too high due to not being able to do the task well enough or up to their impossibly high standards.
3.)    Perfectionism causes procrastination.  The pressure a perfectionist puts on him/herself can make that person postpone tasks continually. For such people, the standard is always ‘perfection’ which makes is very challenging to begin or ultimately complete projects.
4.)    Perfectionist often experience burnout.  Being under constant pressure is exhausting. Perfectionists spend a lot of time worrying about the task rather than working on it.
5.)    Perfectionists suffer from low self-esteem. Having high levels of perfectionism may have a significant impact on your self-esteem because you are not appreciating your accomplishments, big or small, up to standard or not.  In these cases, it is very difficult to feel good about yourself.  Over time, this compounds and results in feeling of poor self-worth.

For example, let’s say you worked really hard on a project.  You submitted it and received great feedback, but YOU believe you don’t deserve credit for a job well done because you didn’t perform exactly the way you had envisioned.  Your ‘almost perfect’ project just doesn’t feel fulfilling enough or up to your standards. You aren’t satisfied with yourself and therefore, cannot bask in the glory of doing an awesome job.

Losing confidence in yourself and your abilities is the most detrimental effect of being a perfectionist, in my opinion.  I have seen it over and over again in my work as a mindset and life coach.  Being caught up in the vacuum of perfectionism can be stifling when you strive for something so hard and set the bar so high that you end up sacrificing yourself and your worth in the process.

Once you lose sight of yourself, you begin to feel unsettled and insecure.  In addition, your identity becomes tied to how well you perform tasks, big or small.

The truth is… no one really is perfect.  Everyone one of us has flaws.

Whether you classify yourself as a perfectionist or you are a recovering perfectionist, I would like to walk you through some simple exercises I do with my clients when perfectionism is standing between them and their success.

Step 1:  Becoming aware of your perfectionistic behaviours

If you feel yourself NOT wanting to move forward with something, e.g. your proposal for work is not good enough, your social media post/reel is not good enough, etc.

PAUSE and pay attention to your thought patterns.  WRITE them down in a journal.  RECOGNIZE which thoughts are holding you back, so that you can change the self talk next time it happens.

If I were to take my podcast as an example…
§  A perfectionist would keep pushing back the official launch date, never feeling ready or good enough. 
§  A perfectionist would criticize oneself and knit pick at all the small details, never being fully satisfied with any aspect.
§  A perfectionist would procrastinate about topics to talk about, never settling on one to start with at least.
§  A perfectionist would question the quality of the recordings and the sound of one’s voice, never accepting that things will not be perfect from day one.
§  A perfectionist will keep his/her creativity and message from the world because he/she cannot focus on making progress over having everything perfect from the get go.
§  A perfectionist will plan, dream, work on, hope for starting his/her podcast, but in the end, will not be able to put oneself out there to the world because there will be too many aspects that simple aren’t perfect.

I think you get the picture.
 
Allowing perfectionism to keep you from following your dreams and chasing after your goals is keeping you small, safe and protected in many ways. 

Step 2:  Start focusing on the positives.

If you find yourself wanting everything to be ‘perfect’, you will likely fixate on the negative parts of your work, your appearance or yourself in some way.  It is extremely important to make a conscious effort to recognize the good.

CHALLENGE yourself to identify 3 things you can appreciate for anything that pops up you are not satisfied with.

My example:  I really dislike my recorded voice.  My podcast script needs this to be perfect.
– I am pleased with my consistency in producing my podcasts.
– I figured the technical side out on my own.
– I love the process of writing and preparing for my daily podcasts.
– I never run out of ideas and concepts for podcast episodes.

Step 3:  Allow yourself to make mistakes

CREATE two cue cards with the following quotes:

* Mistakes are opportunities for me to learn, grow and do better.
* The world will NOT come to an end if I make a mistake.  Life goes on!

CHALLENGE yourself to take on a new hobby or sport that you will likely not be good at at the beginning. Rather than trying to be perfect at this skill, ENJOY the activity itself and be happy with your efforts in slowly learning to improve at it.

Step 4:  Ditch the unrealistic goal setting habit

Perfectionists oftentimes set goals that are completely unrealistic and unattainable to reach, only due to their impossible standards.

SET GOALS that are super simple, specific as opposed to vague, achievable, measurable, and can be completed within the time frame you set for yourself.

By achieving smaller goals, you will gain confidence and feel much less stressed in your abilities to reach them.

Step 5:  Lower the pressure you place on yourself

The person who pressures you the most is yourself!  Be kinder to yourself and give yourself some grace.

The minute you find yourself imposing unrealistic standards, flip the script in your head and remind yourself:  If you’re doing your best, you’re doing just fine.

This step reminds me of children or teenagers before writing a test/exam and after receiving the results back.

->During the preparation, all you can do is review, practice and prepare as best you can.  Whatever the situation is, as long as you are trying your hardest and doing everything in your power to get your mind and skills ready for the upcoming test, you are going to be fine.

->In the situation where you get back the test results and they aren’t as high as you had expected or wanted, you need to tell yourself that the world is not going to come to an end.  Putting in your best effort was the key.  Obviously, there is room for improvement, so find out ways of getting better.  Use this opportunity to grow and learn rather than getting down on yourself for receiving a less-than-stellar mark.

There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but we can be proud of doing our best.
 
Step 6: Focus on Enjoyment over Perfection

SHIFT your focus to finding meaning and above all else, enjoyment in what you are doing instead of striving to be perfect.

Again, CREATE a cue card with the words:  As I work on this task (or hobby), I will enjoy the process.  I will relish the small increments of progress I make.  I will start loving the skills I am learning.  I will focus on the present task and do my very best.

If something brings you joy and purpose, it will no longer matter whether it is done with perfection or not.
There is much more fulfillment to be had in finding enjoyment along the way.

Step 7:  Stop the procrastination.

Perfectionists are notorious for procrastinating and finding every excuse in the book to slack off.  We all know the hardest part of any task, big or small, is actually starting.

I think back to my days at school and the pending essay I needed to complete for English class.  3000 words were waiting to be written, formatted, reviewed and checked thoroughly for spelling and grammatic errors, and then submitted for grading.

Here’s my tip for you if procrastination is a real thing in your life:

Just start by creating a rough outline of what needs to be done. Next, take one small action step.  Then, take another.  Before long, the momentum will grow organically and like a snowball rolling down a hill, more and more pieces will fall into place.  Before you know it, the task will be done.
So, there you have it.
… the first seven steps anyone can start doing to combat perfectionistic behaviour and those feelings of not being able to reach the high standards you put yourself under to much pressure to achieve.
Allow me to briefly recap:
 
As with anything of this nature, it takes a certain amount of conscious effort to realize perfectionism is what is getting in your way AND to take action to see change happen.

I’d really like to challenge you to shift your mindset from perfectionistic behaviour to a ‘go-for-it’ mentality.  Let’s flip the script…

“Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for ‘better than yesterday’.”

Personal growth is about progress, not perfection. ~Hal Elrod

Don’t let perfectionism paralyze you and hold you back from things you want to accomplish.  Strive for continuous improvement and be sure to show yourself some love along the way.  The efforts you are making are votes of confidence in yourself.
 
Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

I believe in you and I know you have the ability to do great things with your one precious life.  Now, go out and show the world what you are truly made of.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa xoxo
 

 
 

Start Experiencing the Domino Effect in Your Life

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ETejvfVWtwb

A new month has just started, and we are approx. 50 some odd days away from a brand new year.  Now, most people wait for the dawn of a new year to set resolutions and goals which they would like to achieve. People tend to get caught up in the hype around “New Year, New You” pledging to replace old habits with better ones.
 
And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. 

However, I would like to encourage you to start now, start messy and get the ball rolling toward positive change that you’d like to see in your life.  There’s nothing like having momentum on your side before heading into the holiday season.

There will never be the “right” time when all the stars align for you and your dreams.  You really have to put one foot in front of other, take one day at a time, keep one small promise you make to yourself each day in order to feel the momentum building, and with that comes self-esteem and confidence as an added bonus.

Today, I want to talk about how chasing down one goal will result in a ripple effect or ‘domino effect’ affecting other areas of your life and I will tell you about a real-life example which has had an immense impact on my life.

From our childhood, you might remember those small, rectangular black tiles divided in the middle with white dots in each half. Most of the time, we played a game in which we laid them on the floor and had to match them up end to end forming a long line of tiles.

Sometimes we set them up on their ends spaced a certain distance apart. If done right, once the first one was pushed the rest of the tiles would fall down activating the next one in a kind of chain reaction.  This was called the ‘domino effect’.

Can you picture how activating one tile would cause the others to fall one after the other?

Now, imagine how pursuing one goal of yours could have spin-off effects in other areas of your life? 

Before I jump straight into the example, I feel that setting the stage for goal setting is necessary. While this episode is not about how to set goals, it is closely related to the process of going after a goal.

So, let me start with an analogy that most of us can relate to.

When we first start out with goal setting

I like to tell my clients that setting their goal is the very first step, then mapping out the plan on how to achieve it with specific markers or points along the way indicating they are still on track.  So, essentially, we reverse engineer the road to achievement.  Isn’t this a lot like using your car’s GPS to reach your destination?

Prior to embarking on a road trip, we are all familiar with getting out our smart phones and typing in the name of the end destination.  Now, we also know there may be some detours along the way due to roadblocks, traffic issues, some side trips will come up and we may even get lost, which can be aggravating but not the end of the world.

It’s all in the planning…

Taking a road trip will involve some planning in terms of how far your destination is, how fast you’ll drive, where and when you’ll need to make a pit stop, what you’ll need to pack, your car may need to be checked out to ensure everything is in good working order, and you’ll also need important things like snacks and money for the trip.  Your plan is the map of how to reach your end destination and each way point or marker you hit, gets you one step closer to your goal.

Goal setting 101

The first rule in setting goals of any kind is they should be small and specific, bite-sized and doable.  Next, your goals should be measurable and achievable, something small you can do every day for a week or a month.  This allows you to establish consistency and builds a habit which turns into momentum.
 
Having momentum on your side, you feel accomplished and are more motivated to keep going. You might even accelerate as you come closer to your destination.  It’s like a set of dominoes.

If you intentionally set the path you want to follow each step of the way, it only takes ONE SMALL PUSH to create a chain reaction. 

Goal achievement is not one dimensional

Just like your path to success will not be linear, goal setting is not one dimensional.  That chain reaction is a ripple effect with positive side effects as well as numerous benefits. 

What do I mean by this?

A few months ago, I started swimming for fitness and health reasons.  There is no doubt that swimming offers immense benefits when it comes to fitness: it has increased my heart rate making my heart and lungs stronger, toned muscles, built strength and endurance, etc.  And the biggest advantage of swimming is you get a lot of ‘bang for your buck’ in terms of burned calories.  This activity torches as many as when running.  As a certified personal trainer and sports enthusiast, I was fully aware of all these perks.  What I didn’t know was that swimming would have so many spin-off benefits as well.

When I started visiting the local pool on a regular basis, I could barely swim the front crawl for a distance of 25 meters.  I could move about in the water doing my own version of three different strokes, none of which looked very elegant for onlookers.  But I was determined to learn and perfect the front crawl, the stroke all distance swimmers use to glide through the water making it look effortless.

I also kept telling myself if the other ladies, some of whom were 15 to 20 years my senior, were able to cut through the water with finesse, I could do it too.

I set the bar low to begin with and tried to improve by 1% each time I was in the water moving my arms and legs over the stretch of 25 meters in my lane. I knew that if I could improve a little bit each time, I would reach my goal of being able to swim 1000 meters doing the front crawl with a certain elan and athletic smoothness that I see other swimmers have.

Four months later, I have achieved my goal of being able to swim the 1000 meter distance in one go.

And, the positive side effects have been so amazing – both for my mind and body.  This is what I call the chain reaction or domino effect:

My original goal was to improve my overall fitness and be able to swim the distance of 1000 meters, but I reaped so many additional benefits on this journey, for example:

1. My overall mobility has improved, which means less pain in my hips and back when walking and sleeping.
2.My entire body feels more toned and stronger.
3.I have been able to significantly reduce the pain medication.
4. My sleep has radically improved each night. 
5.  My mood has improved, and I look forward to each swim session with excited anticipation about how I will challenge myself each new swim.
6. I feel extremely proud of my consistency and continuity in chasing this goal. 
7.I am very proud of my body for responding well to the new training it has to undergo. 

And, the list goes on. 

Of course, this is my story and my fitness journey.  But this is a real example of how starting where you are with a goal in mind, staying consistent, taking joy in the small wins along the way, attempting to improve by 1 % each time, following a plan all contribute to the success and ultimate achievement of the goal.  And, once this goal of mine has been achieved, I already know what my next one will be. 

The key is to start small and be consistent. Whether you are crushing small goals every day or chasing much bigger ones, the power is in the planning.  Be sure to take one little action every day to keep your momentum going and GO AFTER THE GOAL!

So, whenever you feel stuck or frustrated, remember that when it comes to achieving your goals, whether fitness-related or not, the benefits are never singular. Think of – the ripple or domino effect. Whatever you are doing will reap surprise and unexpected rewards.  So go for your goals, and when you do, remember there are a whole slew of new ones lining up right behind them.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 
 
 
 

Mindset Lessons From Tennis Legend – Serena Williams

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/IzQCAMRUtwb

Let’s take a brief moment to set the stage….

What is the mindset of a champion?  It is flexible and strong.  Champions have the ability to deal with setbacks and hurdles, but they also have a very strong will to succeed and overcome failures as they arise.  They have a rock-solid belief in themselves which keeps them mentally adept and resilient.

As an American tennis player, Williams’ name is synonymous with the likes of tennis greats such as Graf, Navratilova and Evert. She has won gold medals at the Olympic Games, been the top seed for 253 weeks during her illustrious career and has become a household name, even for those who don’t follow the sport of tennis.

Serena dominated the game over the span of 27 years and revolutionized the game in many ways, not just with her bold fashion choices on the court and her wicked serve, but also her strong, unshakeable  mindset has been inspiration for many people all over the world. Faced many times with criticism, racism and defeat, she never gave up and her determination was unwavering.

She has definitely experienced her fair share of ups and downs but her attitude toward winning and achieving her goals exemplify a growth mindset, one we can use as an example and learn from.

There was a pivotal point in her career when she was attempting to break the record of winning 17 major tournaments.  She tried hard to win her 18th, but failed over and over again due to the immense pressure she had placed on herself to achieve this goal.

That’s when her coach had to step in and challenge Serena to shift her mindset.
“Why are you trying to get to 18 major wins?  Your goal should be 30 or 40.  18 is such a low goal.”

This conversation shifted Serena’s entire vision for what she wanted to aim for and what she thought was possible in her tennis career. 

After some reflection, Serena commented, “To me, it made so much sense.  I set my goal for what was in sight.  I think that subconsciously, a lot of people set their goal(s) on what is already there.  Why not reach for a higher goal?  I really learned from that.  Why would I reach for that when there’s more.”

This was a breakthrough for Williams.  It shifted both her mindset as well as her entire approach to the game.  She stopped focusing on the short term and relaxed, which changed the game for her and it became fun.

This shift in her mindset helped her go on to win four major tournaments in a row. 

So, we have the first key takeaway from this female tennis legend.

Don’t sell yourself short by aiming for ‘safe goals’.  Rather, set huge, scary goals that force you to work hard and get out of your comfort zone whilst chasing them down.

No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe.

Stop playing it safe with your dreams and goals, testing the waters instead of diving in. Go all out & trust that the answers will come. You got this!  ~Shanshera Quinn

Williams is an excellent example of how to apply the growth mindset.  Despite being the top-ranked player in the world, she learned that failing was a positive thing.  She explains, “Sometimes you don’t know how to be better if you are always doing it right. You can just kinda stay in this plane.  Failing allows you to fall and rise up higher than you could if you didn’t fail.”

Failure allowed her to step back and provided a huge opportunity to grow into a better player.  Once she set her sights of winning not just 18, but 30 or 40 major titles, her mindset shifted but so did her identity.  It must be a rude awakening when, as an elite athlete, you realize that everything you have done thus far to reach the pinnacle of your career isn’t adequate to take you beyond the summit.

This is where uncertainty lies, self doubt lives and where mindset separates the good from the greatest.  You need a new vision of yourself in order to take yourself and your game to the next level.

Second key takeaway:

Sometimes you have to take a step back to take three steps forward. Every failed attempt gives us the chance to reassess.  It provides an opportunity to re-evaluate how we can reach the next level and what we really need to do.  Don’t view failure as the end, reframe it as an opportunity to improve. 

Serena’s winning attitude, “Every time I lose, I feel that I get 10x better.”  This is what champions are made of.  The ability to bounce back after defeat is crucial for moving forward in attaining our goals.

Never let a stumble be the end of your journey.
Failure is a necessary and inevitable part of life.  If we do not fail, we will never learn how to pick ourselves back up again and be stronger because of it.
 
One thing I have noticed when watching Serena at her tennis matches, is that she always looks extremely confident from the very moment she walks onto the court.  She lets everyone know, she means business and is there to conquer.  That’s a look of determination, “I am here to do whatever it takes to come out on top and win.”  Winning is embedded in her so strongly as part of her goals and dreams.  Staying the course has allowed it to happen for Serena.
Having confidence and belief in yourself is part of a champion’s mindset. You have to work on developing that yourself.  Work on improving your skills DAILY.
Third key takeaway from a winning mindset:

Show up confidently and believe in your abilities.  Tap into your inner determination, stay persistent and focus, focus, focus! Know exactly what it is you are aiming for and don’t let anything get in your way.
 
Show up in every single moment as if you’re meant to be there.

Take a stand for yourself and refuse to let other people steal your joy today and forever.
The winning combination:  determination, persistence, focus + tenacity = success
 
Although, Serena had 21 Grand Slam titles to her name, she was only one title away from beating Steffi Graf’s record in 2015, which she really wanted to achieve.  Putting immense pressure on herself, she came close but lost 3 championships in a row. 

Many tennis players may have thrown in the towel and retired happily with the reassurance they had accomplished so much during their careers and realizing the competition was getting considerably stronger and younger year after year. 

Knowing all this, did Serena quit her pro career?  No, she had a goal she was pursuing and was determined to make it happen.  There was no giving up, throwing in the towel, being satisfied with her accomplishments so far.  At Wimbledon 2016, she did it.

Fourth key takeaway:

Never give up and never look at everyone else in your field.  Comparing yourself to others isn’t being fair to yourself.  Your only competitor is YOU – every day, all day.  The only time you should think or consider others and what they have achieved is to internalize, “If they can do it, so can I.”  Stay focused on your vision and what you want to accomplish.  Forget the rest.

Even though she is a tennis player, these principles can be applied to your life or business as well.

Serena’s mindset is so powerful and a great example of how maintaining a growth mindset will help you reach new heights.

The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

Till next time.
 
The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

We can all be a champion too, by applying the same mindset and determination that a true champion like Serena exemplifies.

Here are a few of my personal favourites from one of the most influential female athletes of all time and a true role model for girls and women around the world:

“When you lose, you get up, you make it better, you try again.”
“I think in life you should work on yourself until the day you die.”
“There’s always something you have to give up for success. Everything comes at a cost.  Just what are you willing to pay for it?”
“Everyone’s dream can come true if you just stick to it and work hard.”
“Work hard, train hard, think fast, think win.”
“I don’t like to lose at anything.  Yet, I have not grown from my victories, but from my setbacks.”
“You can be whatever size you are, and you can be beautiful both inside and out.”
“I always believe I can beat the best, achieve the best.  I always see myself in the top position.”
“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another.  We should raise each other up.  Make sure you’re very courageous:  be strong, be extremely kind, and above all, be humble.”
“I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.”
“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.”
 
I love learning from top athletes and one common thread I see is they have this deep-rooted passion, a desire to make it no matter what gets in their way.  Along their journey, people tell them that they will never make it, their chances of succeeding are so low.  Does that get them down or cause them to give up?  No, they go after their dreams regardless.  They face adversity and laugh at it.  They say, “So, you think I can’t do this, well, just watch me.”  There’s a lot to be learned from this kind of attitude.

With love,

Lisa xoxo

Setting Micro Habits

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb


As human-beings, we are habitual creatures by nature.  I would even say – our habits keep us grounded.  Everyday life is full of habitual actions – some on a larger scale and others are rather small, insignificant level. In many respects, habits create our routines from the minute we wake up to the time we close our eyes and fall asleep at night.

Generally, people categorize habits as either good or bad.  There rarely seems to be an in-between category.  In today’s post, I would like to challenge you to review your habits from a slightly different perspective.

I think we can all agree on what falls into the two main categories of habits which are affecting you positively or negatively.  Brushing your teeth in the mornings and evenings, exercising daily, eating regular, nutritious meals, keeping your mind fit through learning or reading, going outside for a walk in the fresh air, reducing or eliminating harmful substances (i.e. alcohol and tobacco), getting enough sleep, interacting with family and friends on a regular basis, etc.  This list varies depending on each individual.

Some harmful habits might be:  sitting too long at your desk, watching too much T.V., scrolling on social media instead of getting in some exercise, consuming unhealthy snacks between meals, eating too much processed food or deep fried dishes, worrying too much about future events, isolating oneself, not indulging in adequate self-care.  And the list goes on here too.

Many of these activities are not consciously planned but rather executed instinctively.  For example, grabbing your toothbrush during your morning routine or cleansing followed by moisturizing your face.  It’s all part of a well-established routine, and there is no need to remind yourself about doing it.  There aren’t any excuses that get in the way of doing it.  You feel great once it’s done.

On the flip side, we are often confronted with decisions and choices each and every day that may lead us to sway from our positive habits.  For instance, when you are preparing a meal and you are staring into the fridge at possible ingredients, you are faced with several decisions.  Since I am really hungry, do I quickly grab some cheese (I can hardly ever resist it) and a few crackers while I am putting together this really healthy, wholesome salad? 

Or, do I recognize this as a ‘bad’ habit and stick to the plan of eating a nourishing salad without added calories prior to enjoying the meal?  This type of habitual behaviour falls into the conscious habits we all encounter on a daily basis.

Changing or altering habits can be challenging and frustrating all at the same time.  We tend to fall back into our old, known patterns of behaviour rather than forcing ourselves to get uncomfortable by taking a new path toward a new habit or change in our lives.  It requires an immense amount of conscious effort to make the better choices and completely neglect the voices in our head telling us to stick with what is “easy, familiar, comforting”.

For this reason, it is important to break down habits into miniscule parts and attempt each part step-by-step gaining momentum as you move through the progression of forming a habit.

If, for instance, I wanted to develop an exercise routine in order to improve my level of fitness.  Doesn’t everyone want some level of fitness AND to be able to follow through on an exercise routine at least 4 – 5 times a week, if not daily?  I certainly do, and for very specific health-related reasons, I have to now.

Knowing what I do about the formation of “healthy” habits, I begin challenging myself to a micro habit for one week.  In my mind, if I can practice this small part of a bigger goal over the course of a week, I will be pleased with myself and gain momentum toward the next, bigger step.  In doing so, I also gain more trust in myself as well as confidence that I can, indeed, follow through with what I need to do – exercise.

What does this micro goal/habit look like for me personally?  It started with biking on my stationary bike for just 5 minutes.  I completed this every day for one week and at the end of this time, I felt like adding and committing to more time.  It felt great for my body, and it was manageable to carve out the time each day.  Side note:  we all have the time; we simply don’t prioritize wisely.  I had to keep reminding myself – the day has 24 full hours and there is NO excuse for not taking 5 minutes for my health.

My mini, micro habit turned into a medium level habit as the weeks progressed.  Making sure not to overdo it, get frustrated and quit, I took it very slowly and progressed gradually.  Constantly reminding myself that any little amount of forward momentum and progress was better than none at all. 

Slowly but surely, I worked my way up to a macro habit, which was biking 40 minutes each day. Such a simple task, yet so profoundly difficult to implement into one’s lifestyle.  Now, when I get on the bike, it is almost as if my body craves the exercise.

Since I would like to end on a positive note, I will not go into how detrimental routines go from being small, micro habits and end up being significantly bad in nature to your health, wealth and wellbeing.  I think we have all been there and can relate on some level to poor habits. 

If you feel like change is necessary in one area of your life, I challenge you to do the following:

1.)     Review and record the habits you have formed – both the good ones and bad ones.
2.)     Take a hard look at the changes you would like to make.  List them out.
3.)     Choose ONE habit you would like to shift for the better.
4.)     Break this habit down into tiny steps.
5.)     Commit to changing this habit one step at a time (adding or eliminating one behaviour).
6.)     Using cue cards or sticky notes, write a reminder for yourself of your habit adjustment and place these reminders strategically around the house, office, car or mirror.
7.)     Just get started with this ONE small habit and see your momentum increase as the days go by.
8.)     Be proud of yourself at the end of a week.  Celebrate or reward yourself for being successful.
9.)     Once the first tiny step/habit is manageable and you feel ready for the next level, adjust your new habit accordingly to reflect your next-level of commitment.
10.)  Congrats!  You have sparked a fire inside of yourself that will ignite your inner motivation to continue.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

Shift Your Mindset For Growth

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb

Have you ever wondered what exactly is holding you back from reaching your goals?

Or, why do some people achieve massive success and others just stay stagnant?  What do they have that you don’t?  Why can’t you create more momentum and level up your life?

The answer to this is both simple and yet complex  –  it’s mindset.  The people who are unstoppable when it comes to going after their dreams have developed a strong mindset and therefore, can stay the course no matter what circumstances arise, or eventual setbacks occur.

The book written by Carol Dweck entitled “Mindset” is an excellent read.  Upon its release, many professionals around the world took a moment of pause and re-evaluated how they approached their jobs as coaches, educators, bosses and even parents.  There are countless examples from all industries and job fields of how a “fixed” mindset played out and how it affected the person’s learning and general approach to life’s situations.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, she outlined how someone with a growth mindset reacted to various situations – positive or negative – and how they used the situation to grow and develop their strengths.

I’ve read the book a few times now and each new read provides further insight into how our minds truly react in certain situations, but more importantly, how we, as individuals, can shift our thoughts and actions to move from a fixed mindset to one that is open to challenges, a mind that embraces hard work as well as effort to achieve new things – in short, developing a growth mindset.

You see, we often set artificial limitations on our own abilities.  For example, we may believe that we will never be good at creative writing, public speaking or other valuable skills.  We fall into the “I can’t…” or “I will never be able to…” mode, which, is based on a few early attempts to do these things but they didn’t go well or ended with a negative experience.

Think back to previous experiences in your own life.  You may have tried to follow a diet and you weren’t able to stick to it and gave up after a short period of time.  It left you feeling deprived of your favourite foods and feeling rather miserable, especially after you quit and gave up on your commitment to succeed.

You may even recall situations during your school time when you received a less than stellar mark on your test. Or the time you didn’t make the school basketball team.  Or the moment you stepped on stage to deliver a public speech and you felt so awkward and embarrassed when your peers started laughing.

The book “Mindset” by Dweck talks a lot about unlocking your full potential by maintaining a growth mindset. Rather than assuming our abilities are static or fixed (unchangeable), this mindset recognizes that we can develop new skills over time – with effort and the willingness to keep going.  With slight shifts to our mindset, we can unlock new options for ourselves and others.
With this in mind, I’d like to explore some points taken from this book.


The first point is comparing the so-called fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

The way we think about and perceive our own abilities as well as our intelligence significantly impacts the trajectory of our lives. This book sheds light on how to develop and maintain a growth mindset as opposed to falling into the trap of a fixed mindset.  So, let’s briefly look at the differences between the two.

Fixed Mindset
People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are largely set in stone. They also think they were born with certain natural traits and their level of intelligence is fixed too.  As a result of this, they often concentrate their energies on validating their already existing abilities instead of challenging themselves to learn and grow.
Unfortunately, this can cause someone to assume they will never be good in certain areas of their life.  Sometimes they experience difficulty in learning new things because they assume they lack the natural abilities needed to be successful in that particular area.

Having been an educator for 30 + years, I encountered this fixed mindset far too many times.  In fact, it broke my heart when I started working with children, who believed they could never get good marks in math or that they would ever be able to read.  They had experienced failing grades, feeling embarrassed in class when asked to read aloud, being put on the spot when called upon to answer the teacher’s question in front of all their peers, and the list of negative experiences goes on and on.  These children came to me completely deflated of all confidence, self-esteem, self-belief and feeling like a complete failure.
 
A further example, children would come to lessons and say things like, “Well, no wonder I am not good at math.  My mother didn’t do well in math and she hates it too.”  This particular belief passed on from a parent to a child was truly a difficult one to shift.  From that point on, I tried very hard to educate parents on the influence they had on their child’s ability and attitude towards school subjects.  I also recommended they all read Dweck’s book to gain much needed insight into mindset and how it affects our general attitude toward learning.  Did any of them actually ready it?  I’m not sure.  But I like to think I helped those children who thought they were incapable of developing a new mindset toward school work and their own ways of looking at and solving hurdles that arose.
 
Growth Mindset
People having a growth mindset also believe that they begin life with natural strengths.  But the difference here is that these people view this as only a starting point and understand they can learn and grow through hard work and persistence.  So, they perceive their abilities as a foundation for future growth.

Of course, they still have to work through difficulties and challenges when it comes to learning something new.  But, rather than feeling permanently stuck or limited, they see setbacks as a sort of challenge that they will overcome.  This results in invested effort on their part, trying different strategies or even look for feedback in order to overcome these difficulties.

The quote by Henry Ford sums it up quite nicely,
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I wish everyone would take a moment to really internalize this.  How many times are we stopped in our tracks because we think we are not capable of doing something or we hold ourselves back from attempting a new skill in the belief that we just don’t have the ability?

In my life coaching business, I hear people talking about things they think they can’t do all the time.

I can’t cook. 

I can’t sing worth a darn. 

I can’t draw anything let alone paint – I have zero artist talent.

I couldn’t possibly start a business.

I can’t stick with a diet and lose the weight at all – so why should I even try. I’ll just accept it (and remain unhappy with myself).

I really want to write a book, but I would never be able to do it.

I would love to complete a triathlon someday, but I can’t swim.

Does this sound like you?  Have you ever, and be honest now, said or thought you weren’t capable of doing something and then you didn’t even try? 
Don’t fret, because you’re not alone and the good news is…you can shift your thinking.  The first step is realizing it and then the next step is flipping the script to develop a growth mindset.

I think it’s important to mention that everyone has a mixture of both mindsets depending on the context.  We may have a growth mindset in areas in which we have experienced past success, yet we are still holding a fixed mindset in areas where we have struggled.  This is perfectly normal, but if we desire change and growth, we should aspire to develop or maintain a growth mindset in all areas of life.

How to Develop and Strengthen Your Growth Mindset

The basis of a growth mindset is knowing and being aware of the fact that we all can develop and improve our abilities.  One way to initiate a growth mindset is to think about skills you have learned and mastered in the past and how you have grown in certain situations.  In other words, consider skills you once found quite challenging but yet you find them easy to do now.

For example, getting up early to work out before the day gets crazy and chaotic

Cooking a meal from scratch which gets rave reviews from the family

Getting in a 5 km walk every day

Remember, nobody is born with the ability to read, write or even ride a bike.  Speaking a language, solving basic math and playing sports all require learning and time to master these skills.  And, we have all learned skills, so we need to remind ourselves that it is possible for us to develop new and powerful skills if we want to.

Now, I do realize that some may argue that certain people are born into this world with talent or an above-average “knack” for certain skills such as math, sports or learning a foreign language. But when the word talent is brought up, a quote comes to mind by Kevin Durant, 
“Hard work beats talent (every time) when talent fails to work hard.”

Naturally, some individuals will pick up certain abilities quicker than others.  And, that’s okay. We cannot control where we start, however what really matters is that we can invest time and the effort to continually improve.  With a growth mindset, we set aside concerns about our own starting point and instead, we focus on the end result we would like to achieve.

Whatever you do, don’t compare your progress to that of others.  I think too many of us fall into this trap. Yes, your friend may have lost 10 kilos in 6 months and you are only down a measly 3 kilos during the same time frame.  Perhaps that person you follow on social media has published that book he/she has been working on within one year of starting the writing process.  And, you have been struggling to get your own thoughts and ideas on paper for years now in hopes of one day publishing your book

But in such cases, we have to consider these people who are further along in their progress may have utilized a better strategy or spent more time practicing or they may have past experiences to draw from in moving toward their goal faster.
 
The key here is – other’s rapid progress is not always related to innate ability. The most critical factor is the effort we put in to learning and growing beyond the base level, which we all start from.

If you can learn to love challenges, be intrigued by your mistakes, enjoy taking action and embrace the hard work involved, not become frustrated by failure but rather explore new strategies and continue to keep learning, this will be the necessary fuel for your forward momentum toward your dreams and goals.  This will help develop a true growth mindset.

I’d like to end today’s podcast with some tangible ways you can shift your thoughts toward a growth mindset, breaking down some limiting beliefs you may be harbouring and take some small steps toward your goals.

10 Ways Adults can foster and develop a Growth Mindset

1.       Don’t be afraid of challenges.  Be brave and take them on and embrace them as a form of growth.
2.       Be mindful of the words you use.  Adding ‘yet’ to the end of your sentences will have a huge impact.  Flip the script from “I can’t cook.” to “I can’t cook yet” Make it even stronger by adding, “I can’t cook…yet but I am willing to try and improve.” 
3.       Never give up! Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, so persevere and stay consistent no matter if you’re seeing results or not.
4.       Be open to constructive criticism and view it as a learning opportunity.  Easier said than done because nobody likes criticism but give it a try for reasons of learning and growing.
5.       Embrace the thought that the journey and process are more important than the outcome, so learn to take enjoyment in the journey.  A growth mindset means the journey is never over.
6.       Learn to reflect on and accept failures.  They are going to happen along the way, but they are evidence that you are trying, and failures do not define us.
7.       Constantly ask yourself, “What can I do differently?” Reframe how you perceive mistakes and use them to your advantage by employing new strategies.
8.       Focus on you and your learning, as opposed to competing with others or seeking their approval.  It’s always about YOU vs. YOU.  How can I improve myself? 
9.       Don’t shy away from seemingly difficult tasks.  You have far more potential and capability than you are even aware of. Remember that!
10.   Challenge yourself daily – I want you to challenge yourself each and every day to try something new, go the extra mile, do one thing that scares you.

Whatever this means to you, focus on becoming 1% better each day.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

 

Restoring Your Self-Confidence

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, HabitsPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/yU3RJ65Qtwb

What does consistency mean to you?
How committed are you to achieving your goals? 
Does anything get in the way of reaching your goals?

I realize that’s a loaded way to start this episode.  Are we talking about consistency in relationships, at work or in your business, with your fitness or nutrition goals?  Of course, there are other areas of our lives in which we could be “consistent” too, like cleaning and de-cluttering, reading, furthering our education, and the list goes on.

Take a moment and ponder how much of a “see-it-through-to-the-bitter-end” kind of person you are.
 
How many goals have you started but not completed? – I know, this is a tough love Q.

How many times have you made a promise to yourself but gave up when the going got tough? – Be perfectly honest with yourself, now.

Would you categorize yourself as someone who gives up easily? — Not necessarily because the goal was too difficult to reach but perhaps your WHY wasn’t compelling enough to keep the momentum going.  Or, maybe you didn’t enjoy the journey toward the end goal that made you throw in the towel.

Why is it so darned difficult for people to stay consistent in what they want to achieve?  I wish there was an easy answer to this question.

You see, I have struggled with consistency through my own life.  And, only after some very long and deep discovery I have found out what truly held me back from getting over the finish line.

So many times, fear of failure has led me to quit, give up on my dreams, create so much overwhelm that I couldn’t go on, allowed me to believe I couldn’t carry through, helped me to come up with brilliant excuses why I shouldn’t move forward, and ultimately, overruled my will to keep going.

Although this makes me sound like a quitter, I must admit, there have been numerous successful attempts at completing my audacious goals. 

Just recently, I had to set some new health goals based on advice from my doctors.  Lose weight, move your body, eat anti-inflammatory foods and avoid the ‘bad stuff’, which came as no surprise at all.  These are things I have been trying to implement for years now.  However, this message hit home on a much different level due to my current health situation and increasing lack of mobility.

So, I had to prepare myself for a ‘no failure option’ and my commitment and dedication toward achieving these daily goals had to be extremely solid, rock solid in fact.

And, after starting approx. 10 months ago, I am happy to write that I have been able to move the needle on my success pendulum. 
Here are some takeaways that I hope will be helpful to you in setting your goals and loving the journey to success:

·         Start by setting the tiniest of goals each day.  Because I was desperately afraid of failing to see my plan through, I had to set the smallest goals for myself.  That meant being satisfied with only 15 minutes of walking as opposed to my larger goals of 5 kilometers.  Once my body and mind were comfortable with these new habits, I was then able to extend the duration.  In doing so, I created positive momentum within myself.  All the while, I had to remind myself that even tiny steps in the right direction will help me create the continuity and habit-forming behaviour that I needed to instill in my mind.
 

·         Set yourself up for success the night before.  If you don’t plan and schedule the night before, things won’t go as intended the following day.  I have been in this situation lots of times.  Lofty intentions and plans the night before, but I didn’t take the time to write down the tasks, put out the workout clothes, prepare the food I needed to stay on track with my eating plan.  There is so much truth in the saying, “Failing to plan, is planning to fail.”  You really need to take a few minutes – the night before – to organize your thoughts, jot down on paper what you want to achieve the next day, put out any equipment or clothing you will require, prep your meals.  Just taking these actions will put you in a much better mindset to step into and crush the next day. 
 
 
·         Use a quote or a self-written promise to keep you motivated. A trick that really helped me this time was to write down a quote that I found particularly inspiring.  After a few days of doing this, I began creating my own mantras or sentences to motivate myself.  These cue cards were placed front and center on my desk next to my computer and I constantly glanced at them during the day.  I also listed three actions that I really wanted to take on that day including check boxes beside each to check off once completed.  You can’t forget or ignore your daily goals if they are staring at you each day.  I had never done anything like this before and I swear this really helped me gain the momentum I needed this time.
 
·         Celebrate each day’s win(s).  Once the day is drawing to an end, revisit what you have accomplished and be sure to celebrate it.  Go to a mirror, smile at yourself, tap yourself on the back and simply say, “I love you for sticking to your goals today.  You are amazing!”  Of course, you might have another self-love statement that you typically use.  It’s important to be proud and pleased of your small steps towards your goals.  I have learned that loving the journey to the finish line is far more important than concentrating on the end goal.  Take it from someone who has been a constant quitter!
 
 
·         Repeat your daily incremental goals to yourself constantly throughout the day.  Our days can become hectic very quickly.  We can get distracted by many different things:  work, family, world events, friends, social media, you name it – our ego thrives on distraction, but hates focus.  Have you ever heard the saying, “Where focus goes, energy flows”?  Well, if you repeatedly focus on your daily goals and revisit them (written on a cue card), your energy will be more easily directed toward achieving them.  Don’t allow yourself to let daily life distract you from your planned course of action.
 
·         Establish a winning morning routine.  Many successful people claim to be early risers and get a jump start on their days with various forms of a ‘winning morning routine’.  Some like movement, mediation, reading, journaling, etc. to get off to a great start.  I do believe that establishing a winning morning routine holds some magic and offers immense benefits especially if you can crush one of your tiny daily goals and set yourself up for an amazing, positive start to your day.  Although it isn’t the easiest of new habits to implement, the saying, “win the morning, win your day” holds a lot of merit.
 
 
·         Remove yourself when the going gets tough.  You will encounter moments during the day when temptation to deviate from the plan seems easier or more pleasurable then actually staying the course.  You will have to remove yourself until your mind can get back on track again.  It might require you to re-read your daily goals, go for a walk, read a book, etc.  When my husband is making a delicious snack in the evening which is not aligned with my daily nutrition goals, I must get as far away as possible from the kitchen in order to maintain my willpower.  It this case my mind would provide me with tons of reasons why I should fall back on my old habits, which would be to join him in creating a yummy snack. Our mind has these neuropathways which are established over time, and we tend to take the path of least resistance, the default pathway the one that is well-known to us rather than create a brand-new pathway with our new habits. 
 
·         Track your small daily wins as progress. Keeping track of your daily progress needn’t be fussy or fancy, yet it is essential.  It is proof that you ARE moving forward, that you ARE staying true to yourself, that you ARE keeping your daily promises to yourself.  Even a Post-It note placed somewhere strategic can be enough to show you that you have indeed accomplished your daily quota on commitment to yourself.
 
 
·         Give yourself some grace. Not every day is going to go as planned.  That’s life and we can’t knock yourselves down for that.  It is important to know that our minds and bodies require a little bit of forgiveness now and again.  If you start to listen closely to what your body is telling you and how you feel, that will help you determine when you need to just “be you” without a grand plan to follow.  I really think it is crucial to give yourself a day off from a routine and simple do things that light you up.  Plan to get back on track the next day though.  Letting yourself deviate from your plan to achieve your goals for too many days will only make it much more difficult to resume your daily schedule of crushing your goals. 
 
·         Recommit to the promises you make to yourself each morning.  If you follow my advice (which I hope you do by the way because it has taken many years of experience to develop 😊), you will get set up for the next day’s success the night before.  This means jumping out of bed the following day with a plan in place to tackle the day.  As mentioned above, there are many situations presented to us every single day that can easily derail and distract us from following our plan.  Therefore, recommitting and revisiting the daily plan multiple times during your day is absolutely essential. 
 
Stay the course, remain committed to your daily greatness, track & celebrate your progress, have a plan in place for those tough moments, prep the night before, be proud of yourself and express it with some self-love talk, but most of all – be true to you and keep the daily promises to yourself.  Because at the end of the day, the only person you are accountable to is…yourself!

I believe in you wholeheartedly. Now, go out there and show the world what you are truly made of!

With love,

Lisa
xoxo