Being a Perfectionist is NOT a Badge of Honour

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/BTOQqk9Xtwb

I used to think being labelled as a perfectionist meant you were somehow better than the rest, meticulous and extremely detail-oriented,  always striving to produce perfect work and optimal results in all things.  It was like a medal of honour given to those who only handed in assignments, submitted completed projects, went after their goals when everything was ideal, perfect in all aspects, above reproach, or criticism.  Perfectionists were no strangers to massive success, accolades, credentials and positive outcomes.

Today, I know that being a perfectionist is actually holding people back from achieving their goals and feeling a sense of accomplishment because, for them, nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever worthy enough, nothing is ever deserving of praise.  They are constantly striving for an unrealistic, unattainable standard and therefore, will never be content.

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous.  It’s about fear.  Fear of making a mistake.  Fear of disappointing others.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success.” ~Michael Law

In my preparation of this topic, I came across a definition of perfectionism that I feel is spot on.

Perfectionism is a set of mental and behavioural habits that insist upon unrealistically high standards for personal conduct and achievement.  Should a person not meet these standards, they may harshly self-critique.  This leads to low self-esteem, procrastination, burnout, and emotional disorders.

Perfectionists have an ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality.  For them, something is either perfect or a failure.

Let’s do a little test to see if you have any perfectionistic traits.

Perfectionists…

Ø  Are never done. Due to the impossibly high standards, a project is never complete because it doesn’t meet the criteria for “perfect”.
Ø  Are stressed and discontent.  They are constantly worrying about having/doing everything to such a level of perfection and this mindset robs perfectionists of feeling satisfied and fulfilled with their work.
Ø  Have stifled creativity. If you are afraid of failing or being less than perfect, your imagination, creativity as well as innovation necessary for positive change and success are greatly hindered.
Ø  Never take risks. Perfectionists have a deep fear of failure and therefore adopt a mindset of “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I won’t even try.”
Ø  Try to make everybody happy.  Always the people pleaser, always wanting people to think highly of them, the perfectionist views herself as “good” if others like her.
Ø  Are highly critical of others, not just of themselves. 
Ø  Don’t/can’t delegate tasks.  They feel that in order to meet their high expectations, they have to do everything themselves because their way is the only right way of doing a task.
Ø  Personalize everything. They believe in themselves when things are going well and people like them, but any negative feedback is taken personally and is an indication of failure.
Ø  Never take time to rest or play.  They have the attitude, “I will rest or play when the job is done.”  But for perfectionists, the job IS never done, IS never perfect enough, and this often results in burnout.

Perfectionism can be coined: the unproductive mindset.  Why?  Because perfectionists get a job 90% done but due to their obsession with perfection, don’t manage to complete it.  Or, they never begin a task for fear of not being able to meet their high expectations.

Perfectionism is born out of a mindset that requires working hard at all costs.  There is an illusion surrounding perfectionism, “If I don’t work hard enough and demand perfection of myself and my work, then I or my work will be mediocre, at best.”

So, let me refer back to my statement at the very beginning of this episode:  Being a perfectionist is not a badge of honour.

In fact, “Perfectionism is the lowest standard for humans because it doesn’t exist.” ~ Tony Robbins

It is a disguised label for “I am not good enough” and a deep-rooted fear of judgement that is holding us back.

I’d like to challenge you to shift your mindset from perfectionistic behaviour to a ‘go-for-it’ mentality.

For the purpose of this podcast, I would like to touch on 5 ways perfectionism affects our mindset followed by some ways to overcome perfectionism when it’s holding you back with some simple, effective exercises and a bit more awareness.

1.)    Perfectionists set unrealistic expectations.  Harbouring the belief that “you can be perfect at any task” leads to disappointment as well as frustration with the results you get.  Perfectionists believe they can always do better.  This means that the goal or end of the task keeps shifting no matter how they improve.
2.)    Perfectionists have a fear of failure.  Many perfectionists never even start with a new task or hobby for fear of not succeeding at it.  Their anxiety levels are far too high due to not being able to do the task well enough or up to their impossibly high standards.
3.)    Perfectionism causes procrastination.  The pressure a perfectionist puts on him/herself can make that person postpone tasks continually. For such people, the standard is always ‘perfection’ which makes is very challenging to begin or ultimately complete projects.
4.)    Perfectionist often experience burnout.  Being under constant pressure is exhausting. Perfectionists spend a lot of time worrying about the task rather than working on it.
5.)    Perfectionists suffer from low self-esteem. Having high levels of perfectionism may have a significant impact on your self-esteem because you are not appreciating your accomplishments, big or small, up to standard or not.  In these cases, it is very difficult to feel good about yourself.  Over time, this compounds and results in feeling of poor self-worth.

For example, let’s say you worked really hard on a project.  You submitted it and received great feedback, but YOU believe you don’t deserve credit for a job well done because you didn’t perform exactly the way you had envisioned.  Your ‘almost perfect’ project just doesn’t feel fulfilling enough or up to your standards. You aren’t satisfied with yourself and therefore, cannot bask in the glory of doing an awesome job.

Losing confidence in yourself and your abilities is the most detrimental effect of being a perfectionist, in my opinion.  I have seen it over and over again in my work as a mindset and life coach.  Being caught up in the vacuum of perfectionism can be stifling when you strive for something so hard and set the bar so high that you end up sacrificing yourself and your worth in the process.

Once you lose sight of yourself, you begin to feel unsettled and insecure.  In addition, your identity becomes tied to how well you perform tasks, big or small.

The truth is… no one really is perfect.  Everyone one of us has flaws.

Whether you classify yourself as a perfectionist or you are a recovering perfectionist, I would like to walk you through some simple exercises I do with my clients when perfectionism is standing between them and their success.

Step 1:  Becoming aware of your perfectionistic behaviours

If you feel yourself NOT wanting to move forward with something, e.g. your proposal for work is not good enough, your social media post/reel is not good enough, etc.

PAUSE and pay attention to your thought patterns.  WRITE them down in a journal.  RECOGNIZE which thoughts are holding you back, so that you can change the self talk next time it happens.

If I were to take my podcast as an example…
§  A perfectionist would keep pushing back the official launch date, never feeling ready or good enough. 
§  A perfectionist would criticize oneself and knit pick at all the small details, never being fully satisfied with any aspect.
§  A perfectionist would procrastinate about topics to talk about, never settling on one to start with at least.
§  A perfectionist would question the quality of the recordings and the sound of one’s voice, never accepting that things will not be perfect from day one.
§  A perfectionist will keep his/her creativity and message from the world because he/she cannot focus on making progress over having everything perfect from the get go.
§  A perfectionist will plan, dream, work on, hope for starting his/her podcast, but in the end, will not be able to put oneself out there to the world because there will be too many aspects that simple aren’t perfect.

I think you get the picture.
 
Allowing perfectionism to keep you from following your dreams and chasing after your goals is keeping you small, safe and protected in many ways. 

Step 2:  Start focusing on the positives.

If you find yourself wanting everything to be ‘perfect’, you will likely fixate on the negative parts of your work, your appearance or yourself in some way.  It is extremely important to make a conscious effort to recognize the good.

CHALLENGE yourself to identify 3 things you can appreciate for anything that pops up you are not satisfied with.

My example:  I really dislike my recorded voice.  My podcast script needs this to be perfect.
– I am pleased with my consistency in producing my podcasts.
– I figured the technical side out on my own.
– I love the process of writing and preparing for my daily podcasts.
– I never run out of ideas and concepts for podcast episodes.

Step 3:  Allow yourself to make mistakes

CREATE two cue cards with the following quotes:

* Mistakes are opportunities for me to learn, grow and do better.
* The world will NOT come to an end if I make a mistake.  Life goes on!

CHALLENGE yourself to take on a new hobby or sport that you will likely not be good at at the beginning. Rather than trying to be perfect at this skill, ENJOY the activity itself and be happy with your efforts in slowly learning to improve at it.

Step 4:  Ditch the unrealistic goal setting habit

Perfectionists oftentimes set goals that are completely unrealistic and unattainable to reach, only due to their impossible standards.

SET GOALS that are super simple, specific as opposed to vague, achievable, measurable, and can be completed within the time frame you set for yourself.

By achieving smaller goals, you will gain confidence and feel much less stressed in your abilities to reach them.

Step 5:  Lower the pressure you place on yourself

The person who pressures you the most is yourself!  Be kinder to yourself and give yourself some grace.

The minute you find yourself imposing unrealistic standards, flip the script in your head and remind yourself:  If you’re doing your best, you’re doing just fine.

This step reminds me of children or teenagers before writing a test/exam and after receiving the results back.

->During the preparation, all you can do is review, practice and prepare as best you can.  Whatever the situation is, as long as you are trying your hardest and doing everything in your power to get your mind and skills ready for the upcoming test, you are going to be fine.

->In the situation where you get back the test results and they aren’t as high as you had expected or wanted, you need to tell yourself that the world is not going to come to an end.  Putting in your best effort was the key.  Obviously, there is room for improvement, so find out ways of getting better.  Use this opportunity to grow and learn rather than getting down on yourself for receiving a less-than-stellar mark.

There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but we can be proud of doing our best.
 
Step 6: Focus on Enjoyment over Perfection

SHIFT your focus to finding meaning and above all else, enjoyment in what you are doing instead of striving to be perfect.

Again, CREATE a cue card with the words:  As I work on this task (or hobby), I will enjoy the process.  I will relish the small increments of progress I make.  I will start loving the skills I am learning.  I will focus on the present task and do my very best.

If something brings you joy and purpose, it will no longer matter whether it is done with perfection or not.
There is much more fulfillment to be had in finding enjoyment along the way.

Step 7:  Stop the procrastination.

Perfectionists are notorious for procrastinating and finding every excuse in the book to slack off.  We all know the hardest part of any task, big or small, is actually starting.

I think back to my days at school and the pending essay I needed to complete for English class.  3000 words were waiting to be written, formatted, reviewed and checked thoroughly for spelling and grammatic errors, and then submitted for grading.

Here’s my tip for you if procrastination is a real thing in your life:

Just start by creating a rough outline of what needs to be done. Next, take one small action step.  Then, take another.  Before long, the momentum will grow organically and like a snowball rolling down a hill, more and more pieces will fall into place.  Before you know it, the task will be done.
So, there you have it.
… the first seven steps anyone can start doing to combat perfectionistic behaviour and those feelings of not being able to reach the high standards you put yourself under to much pressure to achieve.
Allow me to briefly recap:
 
As with anything of this nature, it takes a certain amount of conscious effort to realize perfectionism is what is getting in your way AND to take action to see change happen.

I’d really like to challenge you to shift your mindset from perfectionistic behaviour to a ‘go-for-it’ mentality.  Let’s flip the script…

“Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for ‘better than yesterday’.”

Personal growth is about progress, not perfection. ~Hal Elrod

Don’t let perfectionism paralyze you and hold you back from things you want to accomplish.  Strive for continuous improvement and be sure to show yourself some love along the way.  The efforts you are making are votes of confidence in yourself.
 
Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

I believe in you and I know you have the ability to do great things with your one precious life.  Now, go out and show the world what you are truly made of.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa xoxo
 

 
 

Start Experiencing the Domino Effect in Your Life

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Goals, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ETejvfVWtwb

A new month has just started, and we are approx. 50 some odd days away from a brand new year.  Now, most people wait for the dawn of a new year to set resolutions and goals which they would like to achieve. People tend to get caught up in the hype around “New Year, New You” pledging to replace old habits with better ones.
 
And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. 

However, I would like to encourage you to start now, start messy and get the ball rolling toward positive change that you’d like to see in your life.  There’s nothing like having momentum on your side before heading into the holiday season.

There will never be the “right” time when all the stars align for you and your dreams.  You really have to put one foot in front of other, take one day at a time, keep one small promise you make to yourself each day in order to feel the momentum building, and with that comes self-esteem and confidence as an added bonus.

Today, I want to talk about how chasing down one goal will result in a ripple effect or ‘domino effect’ affecting other areas of your life and I will tell you about a real-life example which has had an immense impact on my life.

From our childhood, you might remember those small, rectangular black tiles divided in the middle with white dots in each half. Most of the time, we played a game in which we laid them on the floor and had to match them up end to end forming a long line of tiles.

Sometimes we set them up on their ends spaced a certain distance apart. If done right, once the first one was pushed the rest of the tiles would fall down activating the next one in a kind of chain reaction.  This was called the ‘domino effect’.

Can you picture how activating one tile would cause the others to fall one after the other?

Now, imagine how pursuing one goal of yours could have spin-off effects in other areas of your life? 

Before I jump straight into the example, I feel that setting the stage for goal setting is necessary. While this episode is not about how to set goals, it is closely related to the process of going after a goal.

So, let me start with an analogy that most of us can relate to.

When we first start out with goal setting

I like to tell my clients that setting their goal is the very first step, then mapping out the plan on how to achieve it with specific markers or points along the way indicating they are still on track.  So, essentially, we reverse engineer the road to achievement.  Isn’t this a lot like using your car’s GPS to reach your destination?

Prior to embarking on a road trip, we are all familiar with getting out our smart phones and typing in the name of the end destination.  Now, we also know there may be some detours along the way due to roadblocks, traffic issues, some side trips will come up and we may even get lost, which can be aggravating but not the end of the world.

It’s all in the planning…

Taking a road trip will involve some planning in terms of how far your destination is, how fast you’ll drive, where and when you’ll need to make a pit stop, what you’ll need to pack, your car may need to be checked out to ensure everything is in good working order, and you’ll also need important things like snacks and money for the trip.  Your plan is the map of how to reach your end destination and each way point or marker you hit, gets you one step closer to your goal.

Goal setting 101

The first rule in setting goals of any kind is they should be small and specific, bite-sized and doable.  Next, your goals should be measurable and achievable, something small you can do every day for a week or a month.  This allows you to establish consistency and builds a habit which turns into momentum.
 
Having momentum on your side, you feel accomplished and are more motivated to keep going. You might even accelerate as you come closer to your destination.  It’s like a set of dominoes.

If you intentionally set the path you want to follow each step of the way, it only takes ONE SMALL PUSH to create a chain reaction. 

Goal achievement is not one dimensional

Just like your path to success will not be linear, goal setting is not one dimensional.  That chain reaction is a ripple effect with positive side effects as well as numerous benefits. 

What do I mean by this?

A few months ago, I started swimming for fitness and health reasons.  There is no doubt that swimming offers immense benefits when it comes to fitness: it has increased my heart rate making my heart and lungs stronger, toned muscles, built strength and endurance, etc.  And the biggest advantage of swimming is you get a lot of ‘bang for your buck’ in terms of burned calories.  This activity torches as many as when running.  As a certified personal trainer and sports enthusiast, I was fully aware of all these perks.  What I didn’t know was that swimming would have so many spin-off benefits as well.

When I started visiting the local pool on a regular basis, I could barely swim the front crawl for a distance of 25 meters.  I could move about in the water doing my own version of three different strokes, none of which looked very elegant for onlookers.  But I was determined to learn and perfect the front crawl, the stroke all distance swimmers use to glide through the water making it look effortless.

I also kept telling myself if the other ladies, some of whom were 15 to 20 years my senior, were able to cut through the water with finesse, I could do it too.

I set the bar low to begin with and tried to improve by 1% each time I was in the water moving my arms and legs over the stretch of 25 meters in my lane. I knew that if I could improve a little bit each time, I would reach my goal of being able to swim 1000 meters doing the front crawl with a certain elan and athletic smoothness that I see other swimmers have.

Four months later, I have achieved my goal of being able to swim the 1000 meter distance in one go.

And, the positive side effects have been so amazing – both for my mind and body.  This is what I call the chain reaction or domino effect:

My original goal was to improve my overall fitness and be able to swim the distance of 1000 meters, but I reaped so many additional benefits on this journey, for example:

1. My overall mobility has improved, which means less pain in my hips and back when walking and sleeping.
2.My entire body feels more toned and stronger.
3.I have been able to significantly reduce the pain medication.
4. My sleep has radically improved each night. 
5.  My mood has improved, and I look forward to each swim session with excited anticipation about how I will challenge myself each new swim.
6. I feel extremely proud of my consistency and continuity in chasing this goal. 
7.I am very proud of my body for responding well to the new training it has to undergo. 

And, the list goes on. 

Of course, this is my story and my fitness journey.  But this is a real example of how starting where you are with a goal in mind, staying consistent, taking joy in the small wins along the way, attempting to improve by 1 % each time, following a plan all contribute to the success and ultimate achievement of the goal.  And, once this goal of mine has been achieved, I already know what my next one will be. 

The key is to start small and be consistent. Whether you are crushing small goals every day or chasing much bigger ones, the power is in the planning.  Be sure to take one little action every day to keep your momentum going and GO AFTER THE GOAL!

So, whenever you feel stuck or frustrated, remember that when it comes to achieving your goals, whether fitness-related or not, the benefits are never singular. Think of – the ripple or domino effect. Whatever you are doing will reap surprise and unexpected rewards.  So go for your goals, and when you do, remember there are a whole slew of new ones lining up right behind them.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 
 
 
 

Mindset Lessons From Tennis Legend – Serena Williams

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/IzQCAMRUtwb

Let’s take a brief moment to set the stage….

What is the mindset of a champion?  It is flexible and strong.  Champions have the ability to deal with setbacks and hurdles, but they also have a very strong will to succeed and overcome failures as they arise.  They have a rock-solid belief in themselves which keeps them mentally adept and resilient.

As an American tennis player, Williams’ name is synonymous with the likes of tennis greats such as Graf, Navratilova and Evert. She has won gold medals at the Olympic Games, been the top seed for 253 weeks during her illustrious career and has become a household name, even for those who don’t follow the sport of tennis.

Serena dominated the game over the span of 27 years and revolutionized the game in many ways, not just with her bold fashion choices on the court and her wicked serve, but also her strong, unshakeable  mindset has been inspiration for many people all over the world. Faced many times with criticism, racism and defeat, she never gave up and her determination was unwavering.

She has definitely experienced her fair share of ups and downs but her attitude toward winning and achieving her goals exemplify a growth mindset, one we can use as an example and learn from.

There was a pivotal point in her career when she was attempting to break the record of winning 17 major tournaments.  She tried hard to win her 18th, but failed over and over again due to the immense pressure she had placed on herself to achieve this goal.

That’s when her coach had to step in and challenge Serena to shift her mindset.
“Why are you trying to get to 18 major wins?  Your goal should be 30 or 40.  18 is such a low goal.”

This conversation shifted Serena’s entire vision for what she wanted to aim for and what she thought was possible in her tennis career. 

After some reflection, Serena commented, “To me, it made so much sense.  I set my goal for what was in sight.  I think that subconsciously, a lot of people set their goal(s) on what is already there.  Why not reach for a higher goal?  I really learned from that.  Why would I reach for that when there’s more.”

This was a breakthrough for Williams.  It shifted both her mindset as well as her entire approach to the game.  She stopped focusing on the short term and relaxed, which changed the game for her and it became fun.

This shift in her mindset helped her go on to win four major tournaments in a row. 

So, we have the first key takeaway from this female tennis legend.

Don’t sell yourself short by aiming for ‘safe goals’.  Rather, set huge, scary goals that force you to work hard and get out of your comfort zone whilst chasing them down.

No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe.

Stop playing it safe with your dreams and goals, testing the waters instead of diving in. Go all out & trust that the answers will come. You got this!  ~Shanshera Quinn

Williams is an excellent example of how to apply the growth mindset.  Despite being the top-ranked player in the world, she learned that failing was a positive thing.  She explains, “Sometimes you don’t know how to be better if you are always doing it right. You can just kinda stay in this plane.  Failing allows you to fall and rise up higher than you could if you didn’t fail.”

Failure allowed her to step back and provided a huge opportunity to grow into a better player.  Once she set her sights of winning not just 18, but 30 or 40 major titles, her mindset shifted but so did her identity.  It must be a rude awakening when, as an elite athlete, you realize that everything you have done thus far to reach the pinnacle of your career isn’t adequate to take you beyond the summit.

This is where uncertainty lies, self doubt lives and where mindset separates the good from the greatest.  You need a new vision of yourself in order to take yourself and your game to the next level.

Second key takeaway:

Sometimes you have to take a step back to take three steps forward. Every failed attempt gives us the chance to reassess.  It provides an opportunity to re-evaluate how we can reach the next level and what we really need to do.  Don’t view failure as the end, reframe it as an opportunity to improve. 

Serena’s winning attitude, “Every time I lose, I feel that I get 10x better.”  This is what champions are made of.  The ability to bounce back after defeat is crucial for moving forward in attaining our goals.

Never let a stumble be the end of your journey.
Failure is a necessary and inevitable part of life.  If we do not fail, we will never learn how to pick ourselves back up again and be stronger because of it.
 
One thing I have noticed when watching Serena at her tennis matches, is that she always looks extremely confident from the very moment she walks onto the court.  She lets everyone know, she means business and is there to conquer.  That’s a look of determination, “I am here to do whatever it takes to come out on top and win.”  Winning is embedded in her so strongly as part of her goals and dreams.  Staying the course has allowed it to happen for Serena.
Having confidence and belief in yourself is part of a champion’s mindset. You have to work on developing that yourself.  Work on improving your skills DAILY.
Third key takeaway from a winning mindset:

Show up confidently and believe in your abilities.  Tap into your inner determination, stay persistent and focus, focus, focus! Know exactly what it is you are aiming for and don’t let anything get in your way.
 
Show up in every single moment as if you’re meant to be there.

Take a stand for yourself and refuse to let other people steal your joy today and forever.
The winning combination:  determination, persistence, focus + tenacity = success
 
Although, Serena had 21 Grand Slam titles to her name, she was only one title away from beating Steffi Graf’s record in 2015, which she really wanted to achieve.  Putting immense pressure on herself, she came close but lost 3 championships in a row. 

Many tennis players may have thrown in the towel and retired happily with the reassurance they had accomplished so much during their careers and realizing the competition was getting considerably stronger and younger year after year. 

Knowing all this, did Serena quit her pro career?  No, she had a goal she was pursuing and was determined to make it happen.  There was no giving up, throwing in the towel, being satisfied with her accomplishments so far.  At Wimbledon 2016, she did it.

Fourth key takeaway:

Never give up and never look at everyone else in your field.  Comparing yourself to others isn’t being fair to yourself.  Your only competitor is YOU – every day, all day.  The only time you should think or consider others and what they have achieved is to internalize, “If they can do it, so can I.”  Stay focused on your vision and what you want to accomplish.  Forget the rest.

Even though she is a tennis player, these principles can be applied to your life or business as well.

Serena’s mindset is so powerful and a great example of how maintaining a growth mindset will help you reach new heights.

The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

Till next time.
 
The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

We can all be a champion too, by applying the same mindset and determination that a true champion like Serena exemplifies.

Here are a few of my personal favourites from one of the most influential female athletes of all time and a true role model for girls and women around the world:

“When you lose, you get up, you make it better, you try again.”
“I think in life you should work on yourself until the day you die.”
“There’s always something you have to give up for success. Everything comes at a cost.  Just what are you willing to pay for it?”
“Everyone’s dream can come true if you just stick to it and work hard.”
“Work hard, train hard, think fast, think win.”
“I don’t like to lose at anything.  Yet, I have not grown from my victories, but from my setbacks.”
“You can be whatever size you are, and you can be beautiful both inside and out.”
“I always believe I can beat the best, achieve the best.  I always see myself in the top position.”
“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another.  We should raise each other up.  Make sure you’re very courageous:  be strong, be extremely kind, and above all, be humble.”
“I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.”
“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.”
 
I love learning from top athletes and one common thread I see is they have this deep-rooted passion, a desire to make it no matter what gets in their way.  Along their journey, people tell them that they will never make it, their chances of succeeding are so low.  Does that get them down or cause them to give up?  No, they go after their dreams regardless.  They face adversity and laugh at it.  They say, “So, you think I can’t do this, well, just watch me.”  There’s a lot to be learned from this kind of attitude.

With love,

Lisa xoxo

Setting Micro Habits

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb


As human-beings, we are habitual creatures by nature.  I would even say – our habits keep us grounded.  Everyday life is full of habitual actions – some on a larger scale and others are rather small, insignificant level. In many respects, habits create our routines from the minute we wake up to the time we close our eyes and fall asleep at night.

Generally, people categorize habits as either good or bad.  There rarely seems to be an in-between category.  In today’s post, I would like to challenge you to review your habits from a slightly different perspective.

I think we can all agree on what falls into the two main categories of habits which are affecting you positively or negatively.  Brushing your teeth in the mornings and evenings, exercising daily, eating regular, nutritious meals, keeping your mind fit through learning or reading, going outside for a walk in the fresh air, reducing or eliminating harmful substances (i.e. alcohol and tobacco), getting enough sleep, interacting with family and friends on a regular basis, etc.  This list varies depending on each individual.

Some harmful habits might be:  sitting too long at your desk, watching too much T.V., scrolling on social media instead of getting in some exercise, consuming unhealthy snacks between meals, eating too much processed food or deep fried dishes, worrying too much about future events, isolating oneself, not indulging in adequate self-care.  And the list goes on here too.

Many of these activities are not consciously planned but rather executed instinctively.  For example, grabbing your toothbrush during your morning routine or cleansing followed by moisturizing your face.  It’s all part of a well-established routine, and there is no need to remind yourself about doing it.  There aren’t any excuses that get in the way of doing it.  You feel great once it’s done.

On the flip side, we are often confronted with decisions and choices each and every day that may lead us to sway from our positive habits.  For instance, when you are preparing a meal and you are staring into the fridge at possible ingredients, you are faced with several decisions.  Since I am really hungry, do I quickly grab some cheese (I can hardly ever resist it) and a few crackers while I am putting together this really healthy, wholesome salad? 

Or, do I recognize this as a ‘bad’ habit and stick to the plan of eating a nourishing salad without added calories prior to enjoying the meal?  This type of habitual behaviour falls into the conscious habits we all encounter on a daily basis.

Changing or altering habits can be challenging and frustrating all at the same time.  We tend to fall back into our old, known patterns of behaviour rather than forcing ourselves to get uncomfortable by taking a new path toward a new habit or change in our lives.  It requires an immense amount of conscious effort to make the better choices and completely neglect the voices in our head telling us to stick with what is “easy, familiar, comforting”.

For this reason, it is important to break down habits into miniscule parts and attempt each part step-by-step gaining momentum as you move through the progression of forming a habit.

If, for instance, I wanted to develop an exercise routine in order to improve my level of fitness.  Doesn’t everyone want some level of fitness AND to be able to follow through on an exercise routine at least 4 – 5 times a week, if not daily?  I certainly do, and for very specific health-related reasons, I have to now.

Knowing what I do about the formation of “healthy” habits, I begin challenging myself to a micro habit for one week.  In my mind, if I can practice this small part of a bigger goal over the course of a week, I will be pleased with myself and gain momentum toward the next, bigger step.  In doing so, I also gain more trust in myself as well as confidence that I can, indeed, follow through with what I need to do – exercise.

What does this micro goal/habit look like for me personally?  It started with biking on my stationary bike for just 5 minutes.  I completed this every day for one week and at the end of this time, I felt like adding and committing to more time.  It felt great for my body, and it was manageable to carve out the time each day.  Side note:  we all have the time; we simply don’t prioritize wisely.  I had to keep reminding myself – the day has 24 full hours and there is NO excuse for not taking 5 minutes for my health.

My mini, micro habit turned into a medium level habit as the weeks progressed.  Making sure not to overdo it, get frustrated and quit, I took it very slowly and progressed gradually.  Constantly reminding myself that any little amount of forward momentum and progress was better than none at all. 

Slowly but surely, I worked my way up to a macro habit, which was biking 40 minutes each day. Such a simple task, yet so profoundly difficult to implement into one’s lifestyle.  Now, when I get on the bike, it is almost as if my body craves the exercise.

Since I would like to end on a positive note, I will not go into how detrimental routines go from being small, micro habits and end up being significantly bad in nature to your health, wealth and wellbeing.  I think we have all been there and can relate on some level to poor habits. 

If you feel like change is necessary in one area of your life, I challenge you to do the following:

1.)     Review and record the habits you have formed – both the good ones and bad ones.
2.)     Take a hard look at the changes you would like to make.  List them out.
3.)     Choose ONE habit you would like to shift for the better.
4.)     Break this habit down into tiny steps.
5.)     Commit to changing this habit one step at a time (adding or eliminating one behaviour).
6.)     Using cue cards or sticky notes, write a reminder for yourself of your habit adjustment and place these reminders strategically around the house, office, car or mirror.
7.)     Just get started with this ONE small habit and see your momentum increase as the days go by.
8.)     Be proud of yourself at the end of a week.  Celebrate or reward yourself for being successful.
9.)     Once the first tiny step/habit is manageable and you feel ready for the next level, adjust your new habit accordingly to reflect your next-level of commitment.
10.)  Congrats!  You have sparked a fire inside of yourself that will ignite your inner motivation to continue.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

Shift Your Mindset For Growth

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb

Have you ever wondered what exactly is holding you back from reaching your goals?

Or, why do some people achieve massive success and others just stay stagnant?  What do they have that you don’t?  Why can’t you create more momentum and level up your life?

The answer to this is both simple and yet complex  –  it’s mindset.  The people who are unstoppable when it comes to going after their dreams have developed a strong mindset and therefore, can stay the course no matter what circumstances arise, or eventual setbacks occur.

The book written by Carol Dweck entitled “Mindset” is an excellent read.  Upon its release, many professionals around the world took a moment of pause and re-evaluated how they approached their jobs as coaches, educators, bosses and even parents.  There are countless examples from all industries and job fields of how a “fixed” mindset played out and how it affected the person’s learning and general approach to life’s situations.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, she outlined how someone with a growth mindset reacted to various situations – positive or negative – and how they used the situation to grow and develop their strengths.

I’ve read the book a few times now and each new read provides further insight into how our minds truly react in certain situations, but more importantly, how we, as individuals, can shift our thoughts and actions to move from a fixed mindset to one that is open to challenges, a mind that embraces hard work as well as effort to achieve new things – in short, developing a growth mindset.

You see, we often set artificial limitations on our own abilities.  For example, we may believe that we will never be good at creative writing, public speaking or other valuable skills.  We fall into the “I can’t…” or “I will never be able to…” mode, which, is based on a few early attempts to do these things but they didn’t go well or ended with a negative experience.

Think back to previous experiences in your own life.  You may have tried to follow a diet and you weren’t able to stick to it and gave up after a short period of time.  It left you feeling deprived of your favourite foods and feeling rather miserable, especially after you quit and gave up on your commitment to succeed.

You may even recall situations during your school time when you received a less than stellar mark on your test. Or the time you didn’t make the school basketball team.  Or the moment you stepped on stage to deliver a public speech and you felt so awkward and embarrassed when your peers started laughing.

The book “Mindset” by Dweck talks a lot about unlocking your full potential by maintaining a growth mindset. Rather than assuming our abilities are static or fixed (unchangeable), this mindset recognizes that we can develop new skills over time – with effort and the willingness to keep going.  With slight shifts to our mindset, we can unlock new options for ourselves and others.
With this in mind, I’d like to explore some points taken from this book.


The first point is comparing the so-called fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

The way we think about and perceive our own abilities as well as our intelligence significantly impacts the trajectory of our lives. This book sheds light on how to develop and maintain a growth mindset as opposed to falling into the trap of a fixed mindset.  So, let’s briefly look at the differences between the two.

Fixed Mindset
People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are largely set in stone. They also think they were born with certain natural traits and their level of intelligence is fixed too.  As a result of this, they often concentrate their energies on validating their already existing abilities instead of challenging themselves to learn and grow.
Unfortunately, this can cause someone to assume they will never be good in certain areas of their life.  Sometimes they experience difficulty in learning new things because they assume they lack the natural abilities needed to be successful in that particular area.

Having been an educator for 30 + years, I encountered this fixed mindset far too many times.  In fact, it broke my heart when I started working with children, who believed they could never get good marks in math or that they would ever be able to read.  They had experienced failing grades, feeling embarrassed in class when asked to read aloud, being put on the spot when called upon to answer the teacher’s question in front of all their peers, and the list of negative experiences goes on and on.  These children came to me completely deflated of all confidence, self-esteem, self-belief and feeling like a complete failure.
 
A further example, children would come to lessons and say things like, “Well, no wonder I am not good at math.  My mother didn’t do well in math and she hates it too.”  This particular belief passed on from a parent to a child was truly a difficult one to shift.  From that point on, I tried very hard to educate parents on the influence they had on their child’s ability and attitude towards school subjects.  I also recommended they all read Dweck’s book to gain much needed insight into mindset and how it affects our general attitude toward learning.  Did any of them actually ready it?  I’m not sure.  But I like to think I helped those children who thought they were incapable of developing a new mindset toward school work and their own ways of looking at and solving hurdles that arose.
 
Growth Mindset
People having a growth mindset also believe that they begin life with natural strengths.  But the difference here is that these people view this as only a starting point and understand they can learn and grow through hard work and persistence.  So, they perceive their abilities as a foundation for future growth.

Of course, they still have to work through difficulties and challenges when it comes to learning something new.  But, rather than feeling permanently stuck or limited, they see setbacks as a sort of challenge that they will overcome.  This results in invested effort on their part, trying different strategies or even look for feedback in order to overcome these difficulties.

The quote by Henry Ford sums it up quite nicely,
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I wish everyone would take a moment to really internalize this.  How many times are we stopped in our tracks because we think we are not capable of doing something or we hold ourselves back from attempting a new skill in the belief that we just don’t have the ability?

In my life coaching business, I hear people talking about things they think they can’t do all the time.

I can’t cook. 

I can’t sing worth a darn. 

I can’t draw anything let alone paint – I have zero artist talent.

I couldn’t possibly start a business.

I can’t stick with a diet and lose the weight at all – so why should I even try. I’ll just accept it (and remain unhappy with myself).

I really want to write a book, but I would never be able to do it.

I would love to complete a triathlon someday, but I can’t swim.

Does this sound like you?  Have you ever, and be honest now, said or thought you weren’t capable of doing something and then you didn’t even try? 
Don’t fret, because you’re not alone and the good news is…you can shift your thinking.  The first step is realizing it and then the next step is flipping the script to develop a growth mindset.

I think it’s important to mention that everyone has a mixture of both mindsets depending on the context.  We may have a growth mindset in areas in which we have experienced past success, yet we are still holding a fixed mindset in areas where we have struggled.  This is perfectly normal, but if we desire change and growth, we should aspire to develop or maintain a growth mindset in all areas of life.

How to Develop and Strengthen Your Growth Mindset

The basis of a growth mindset is knowing and being aware of the fact that we all can develop and improve our abilities.  One way to initiate a growth mindset is to think about skills you have learned and mastered in the past and how you have grown in certain situations.  In other words, consider skills you once found quite challenging but yet you find them easy to do now.

For example, getting up early to work out before the day gets crazy and chaotic

Cooking a meal from scratch which gets rave reviews from the family

Getting in a 5 km walk every day

Remember, nobody is born with the ability to read, write or even ride a bike.  Speaking a language, solving basic math and playing sports all require learning and time to master these skills.  And, we have all learned skills, so we need to remind ourselves that it is possible for us to develop new and powerful skills if we want to.

Now, I do realize that some may argue that certain people are born into this world with talent or an above-average “knack” for certain skills such as math, sports or learning a foreign language. But when the word talent is brought up, a quote comes to mind by Kevin Durant, 
“Hard work beats talent (every time) when talent fails to work hard.”

Naturally, some individuals will pick up certain abilities quicker than others.  And, that’s okay. We cannot control where we start, however what really matters is that we can invest time and the effort to continually improve.  With a growth mindset, we set aside concerns about our own starting point and instead, we focus on the end result we would like to achieve.

Whatever you do, don’t compare your progress to that of others.  I think too many of us fall into this trap. Yes, your friend may have lost 10 kilos in 6 months and you are only down a measly 3 kilos during the same time frame.  Perhaps that person you follow on social media has published that book he/she has been working on within one year of starting the writing process.  And, you have been struggling to get your own thoughts and ideas on paper for years now in hopes of one day publishing your book

But in such cases, we have to consider these people who are further along in their progress may have utilized a better strategy or spent more time practicing or they may have past experiences to draw from in moving toward their goal faster.
 
The key here is – other’s rapid progress is not always related to innate ability. The most critical factor is the effort we put in to learning and growing beyond the base level, which we all start from.

If you can learn to love challenges, be intrigued by your mistakes, enjoy taking action and embrace the hard work involved, not become frustrated by failure but rather explore new strategies and continue to keep learning, this will be the necessary fuel for your forward momentum toward your dreams and goals.  This will help develop a true growth mindset.

I’d like to end today’s podcast with some tangible ways you can shift your thoughts toward a growth mindset, breaking down some limiting beliefs you may be harbouring and take some small steps toward your goals.

10 Ways Adults can foster and develop a Growth Mindset

1.       Don’t be afraid of challenges.  Be brave and take them on and embrace them as a form of growth.
2.       Be mindful of the words you use.  Adding ‘yet’ to the end of your sentences will have a huge impact.  Flip the script from “I can’t cook.” to “I can’t cook yet” Make it even stronger by adding, “I can’t cook…yet but I am willing to try and improve.” 
3.       Never give up! Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, so persevere and stay consistent no matter if you’re seeing results or not.
4.       Be open to constructive criticism and view it as a learning opportunity.  Easier said than done because nobody likes criticism but give it a try for reasons of learning and growing.
5.       Embrace the thought that the journey and process are more important than the outcome, so learn to take enjoyment in the journey.  A growth mindset means the journey is never over.
6.       Learn to reflect on and accept failures.  They are going to happen along the way, but they are evidence that you are trying, and failures do not define us.
7.       Constantly ask yourself, “What can I do differently?” Reframe how you perceive mistakes and use them to your advantage by employing new strategies.
8.       Focus on you and your learning, as opposed to competing with others or seeking their approval.  It’s always about YOU vs. YOU.  How can I improve myself? 
9.       Don’t shy away from seemingly difficult tasks.  You have far more potential and capability than you are even aware of. Remember that!
10.   Challenge yourself daily – I want you to challenge yourself each and every day to try something new, go the extra mile, do one thing that scares you.

Whatever this means to you, focus on becoming 1% better each day.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

 

Restoring Your Self-Confidence

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, HabitsPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/yU3RJ65Qtwb

What does consistency mean to you?
How committed are you to achieving your goals? 
Does anything get in the way of reaching your goals?

I realize that’s a loaded way to start this episode.  Are we talking about consistency in relationships, at work or in your business, with your fitness or nutrition goals?  Of course, there are other areas of our lives in which we could be “consistent” too, like cleaning and de-cluttering, reading, furthering our education, and the list goes on.

Take a moment and ponder how much of a “see-it-through-to-the-bitter-end” kind of person you are.
 
How many goals have you started but not completed? – I know, this is a tough love Q.

How many times have you made a promise to yourself but gave up when the going got tough? – Be perfectly honest with yourself, now.

Would you categorize yourself as someone who gives up easily? — Not necessarily because the goal was too difficult to reach but perhaps your WHY wasn’t compelling enough to keep the momentum going.  Or, maybe you didn’t enjoy the journey toward the end goal that made you throw in the towel.

Why is it so darned difficult for people to stay consistent in what they want to achieve?  I wish there was an easy answer to this question.

You see, I have struggled with consistency through my own life.  And, only after some very long and deep discovery I have found out what truly held me back from getting over the finish line.

So many times, fear of failure has led me to quit, give up on my dreams, create so much overwhelm that I couldn’t go on, allowed me to believe I couldn’t carry through, helped me to come up with brilliant excuses why I shouldn’t move forward, and ultimately, overruled my will to keep going.

Although this makes me sound like a quitter, I must admit, there have been numerous successful attempts at completing my audacious goals. 

Just recently, I had to set some new health goals based on advice from my doctors.  Lose weight, move your body, eat anti-inflammatory foods and avoid the ‘bad stuff’, which came as no surprise at all.  These are things I have been trying to implement for years now.  However, this message hit home on a much different level due to my current health situation and increasing lack of mobility.

So, I had to prepare myself for a ‘no failure option’ and my commitment and dedication toward achieving these daily goals had to be extremely solid, rock solid in fact.

And, after starting approx. 10 months ago, I am happy to write that I have been able to move the needle on my success pendulum. 
Here are some takeaways that I hope will be helpful to you in setting your goals and loving the journey to success:

·         Start by setting the tiniest of goals each day.  Because I was desperately afraid of failing to see my plan through, I had to set the smallest goals for myself.  That meant being satisfied with only 15 minutes of walking as opposed to my larger goals of 5 kilometers.  Once my body and mind were comfortable with these new habits, I was then able to extend the duration.  In doing so, I created positive momentum within myself.  All the while, I had to remind myself that even tiny steps in the right direction will help me create the continuity and habit-forming behaviour that I needed to instill in my mind.
 

·         Set yourself up for success the night before.  If you don’t plan and schedule the night before, things won’t go as intended the following day.  I have been in this situation lots of times.  Lofty intentions and plans the night before, but I didn’t take the time to write down the tasks, put out the workout clothes, prepare the food I needed to stay on track with my eating plan.  There is so much truth in the saying, “Failing to plan, is planning to fail.”  You really need to take a few minutes – the night before – to organize your thoughts, jot down on paper what you want to achieve the next day, put out any equipment or clothing you will require, prep your meals.  Just taking these actions will put you in a much better mindset to step into and crush the next day. 
 
 
·         Use a quote or a self-written promise to keep you motivated. A trick that really helped me this time was to write down a quote that I found particularly inspiring.  After a few days of doing this, I began creating my own mantras or sentences to motivate myself.  These cue cards were placed front and center on my desk next to my computer and I constantly glanced at them during the day.  I also listed three actions that I really wanted to take on that day including check boxes beside each to check off once completed.  You can’t forget or ignore your daily goals if they are staring at you each day.  I had never done anything like this before and I swear this really helped me gain the momentum I needed this time.
 
·         Celebrate each day’s win(s).  Once the day is drawing to an end, revisit what you have accomplished and be sure to celebrate it.  Go to a mirror, smile at yourself, tap yourself on the back and simply say, “I love you for sticking to your goals today.  You are amazing!”  Of course, you might have another self-love statement that you typically use.  It’s important to be proud and pleased of your small steps towards your goals.  I have learned that loving the journey to the finish line is far more important than concentrating on the end goal.  Take it from someone who has been a constant quitter!
 
 
·         Repeat your daily incremental goals to yourself constantly throughout the day.  Our days can become hectic very quickly.  We can get distracted by many different things:  work, family, world events, friends, social media, you name it – our ego thrives on distraction, but hates focus.  Have you ever heard the saying, “Where focus goes, energy flows”?  Well, if you repeatedly focus on your daily goals and revisit them (written on a cue card), your energy will be more easily directed toward achieving them.  Don’t allow yourself to let daily life distract you from your planned course of action.
 
·         Establish a winning morning routine.  Many successful people claim to be early risers and get a jump start on their days with various forms of a ‘winning morning routine’.  Some like movement, mediation, reading, journaling, etc. to get off to a great start.  I do believe that establishing a winning morning routine holds some magic and offers immense benefits especially if you can crush one of your tiny daily goals and set yourself up for an amazing, positive start to your day.  Although it isn’t the easiest of new habits to implement, the saying, “win the morning, win your day” holds a lot of merit.
 
 
·         Remove yourself when the going gets tough.  You will encounter moments during the day when temptation to deviate from the plan seems easier or more pleasurable then actually staying the course.  You will have to remove yourself until your mind can get back on track again.  It might require you to re-read your daily goals, go for a walk, read a book, etc.  When my husband is making a delicious snack in the evening which is not aligned with my daily nutrition goals, I must get as far away as possible from the kitchen in order to maintain my willpower.  It this case my mind would provide me with tons of reasons why I should fall back on my old habits, which would be to join him in creating a yummy snack. Our mind has these neuropathways which are established over time, and we tend to take the path of least resistance, the default pathway the one that is well-known to us rather than create a brand-new pathway with our new habits. 
 
·         Track your small daily wins as progress. Keeping track of your daily progress needn’t be fussy or fancy, yet it is essential.  It is proof that you ARE moving forward, that you ARE staying true to yourself, that you ARE keeping your daily promises to yourself.  Even a Post-It note placed somewhere strategic can be enough to show you that you have indeed accomplished your daily quota on commitment to yourself.
 
 
·         Give yourself some grace. Not every day is going to go as planned.  That’s life and we can’t knock yourselves down for that.  It is important to know that our minds and bodies require a little bit of forgiveness now and again.  If you start to listen closely to what your body is telling you and how you feel, that will help you determine when you need to just “be you” without a grand plan to follow.  I really think it is crucial to give yourself a day off from a routine and simple do things that light you up.  Plan to get back on track the next day though.  Letting yourself deviate from your plan to achieve your goals for too many days will only make it much more difficult to resume your daily schedule of crushing your goals. 
 
·         Recommit to the promises you make to yourself each morning.  If you follow my advice (which I hope you do by the way because it has taken many years of experience to develop 😊), you will get set up for the next day’s success the night before.  This means jumping out of bed the following day with a plan in place to tackle the day.  As mentioned above, there are many situations presented to us every single day that can easily derail and distract us from following our plan.  Therefore, recommitting and revisiting the daily plan multiple times during your day is absolutely essential. 
 
Stay the course, remain committed to your daily greatness, track & celebrate your progress, have a plan in place for those tough moments, prep the night before, be proud of yourself and express it with some self-love talk, but most of all – be true to you and keep the daily promises to yourself.  Because at the end of the day, the only person you are accountable to is…yourself!

I believe in you wholeheartedly. Now, go out there and show the world what you are truly made of!

With love,

Lisa
xoxo

Tangible Tuesday’s Journalling Activity & Tough Love Talk

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidencePosted on No Comments

PODCAST EPISODE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3aZlY4hPtwb

Can’t believe I am saying this, but it’s November 1st already.

Happy November!

It feels like just yesterday when I think back to the launch of my life coaching business in April this year.

Nonetheless we are here… and I am so excited for what this month holds for you and for me. 
 
I am so jazzed to have finally started this podcast, and I absolutely love creating content for you and getting my message out through this medium. 

Before we dive into today’s episode, I just want to give a gentle reminder to you.

You are beautiful
You are worthy
You are enough

My challenge for you this month is to remind yourself of this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!
 
And the best way to do this is write out these three simple sentences on cards or Post It notes.  Then stick them to your bathroom mirror.  That way they are front and center for you to begin the day feeling some self love and more empowered.

This is tangible Tuesday, which means sharing a quick practice to implement into your day.  Today’s exercise is all about journalling or reflecting in case you are not yet a journal person. 
 
So, this is a quick journaling activity I’d love for you to do to set the intentions for the month ahead.

Reaching goals doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when you’re intentional and when you’re aligned with exactly what you want to achieve. This activity allows for the reflection to make that happen. So set aside some time today to dig into this.

What are you calling in this month or what are your goals for this month? (Bonus points for writing them down in a place you can see them daily)

What do you believe about your goals for this month?

What do you need to believe to see your vision through?

How can you create space for your vision this month?

How can you be accountable?

It’s tempting to say you have no time to do this activity but trust me you will be grateful that you did.

Now, I have a bit of tough love talk for you.  We all need this from time to time, and I truly hope you let this message sink in.

 
The quote of the day is, “You can either have excuses or execution.  The choice is yours but so are the results!”
The invisible factor impacting your success is your excuses.  Ouch, that may have hurt.
 
You know what I am talking about.
 
The excuses that sound like…
 
I don’t have enough time.
I don’t have enough money.
I don’t know how.
Now is not the right time.
I am not ready.
 
Etc.
 
If given permission, the excuses you could make, would be endless.
 
Am I wrong?
 
Here’s what I need you to know…… the more you anchor your excuses, the less energy you have to execute your plan.
 
You deserve better.
Your vision deserves more.
 
If you’re feeling the tug and the deep desire to see your vision through, I challenge you to execute by taking action!
 
Take action when it’s hard.
Take action when your ego convinces you not to.
Take action when it makes no sense.
Take action when you feel that imposter syndrome surfacing.
Taking consistent action will change your outcome.
 
You can either have reasons or results- I challenge you to chose results!
 
It’s time to create the results.

I believe in you wholeheartedly, so go out there and show the world what you are truly made of.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

It’s The Small Wins That Count

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidencePosted on No Comments

Podcast Episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/eSsQnxmNtwb

Small wins are actually the most important steps on the long, windy road to reaching your goal.  Humans love to celebrate the completion of big goals or crossing the finish line on huge projects, but fail to acknowledge the micro-victories that fuelled the momentum to get there.

We are so focused on the end result – whether it is reaching that ideal weight, landing that dream job, generating a certain revenue goal, writing that book, or perhaps winning that gold medal in sports – that we don’t honour our efforts and incremental wins which have a profound impact on our huge accomplishments.

Our society likes to think in terms of:  go big or go home, all or nothing, shoot for the stars.  These types of statements may be having a detrimental effect on your way of viewing success.  Larger, abstract goals are often linked to “greater psychological distress, such as anxiety and depression.”  People put themselves under a lot of pressure to achieve these goals when we adopt an all or nothing attitude toward them.  Shouldn’t we savour the steps in getting there?  Wouldn’t it be easier on us if we celebrated each tiny progress point along the way?

Few successful people talk about the long, arduous journey to achieve their level of success.  Let’s take Glennon Doyle, who wrote and worked on her blog every day for two straight years until one of her seemingly lacklustre blog posts (at least to her at the time) entitled “Don’t Carpe Diem” went viral with over one million shares.  Two weeks later she received numerous email invitations for potential book deals.  Was that an overnight success?  No, it was an almost 10-year success according to the author. 

If you take a closer look at the success stories of other famous women such as J.K. Rowling, Oprah, and Sara Blakley to only name a few, they stayed the course for years, many years and countless rejections before they experienced any notable success to mention.  However, the stepping stones, AKA small wins along their journey provided confidence, momentum to keep going, perhaps even some proof of concept showing them that they were, indeed, on the right path.

Every achievement – big or small – activates our brain’s reward circuitry.  The pathway opens up and we get the deeply satisfying release of testosterone and dopamine which leaves us feeling energized, confident and motivated. 

I would even go as far as tweaking the quote of the day to:  Small wins are the true wins on one’s path to success.  Here are my reasons why…

First of all, there won’t be any big wins without the small wins on the way there.  People tend to give up due to disappointment and frustration before reaching the ultimate end goal.  Small wins are the key drivers of momentum within us.  They energize and motivate us to continue. 

Secondly, and rather unfortunately, the big magical moments that we strive to achieve and love to celebrate, don’t happen very often.  My husband worked hard for approx. 4 years to prepare his body and mind to complete a full triathlon.  When he finally accomplished this huge moment, he was beyond happy with his accomplishment.  But moments like this, don’t take place frequently enough in our lifetime and, of course, that’s what makes them so special. Small wins happen more frequently and ultimately, have a far more significant impact on the end result. 

We underrate these micro-victories focusing on the finish line refusing to acknowledge and savour the moments that actually got us there.  So, here are some ways to set yourself up for success in attaining your goals but also honouring your efforts and progress along the way:

1.       Define your big goal.  Then break it down into many, smaller micro-steps.  For example, if you are trying to lose weight.  Choose the amount and the time period, then divide that number by how many weeks there would be.  Another example might be writing a book.  This time we are not starting with the end goal and reverse engineering it, we are starting from 0 and working our way forward.  Set aside a time and place in your home (office) to write a determined number of words each day or week.  Start with a doable amount and fill the quota every day.
2.       Create and follow a system.  Returning to the example of my husband and his triathlon training, he set up systems which led to effective training and not resulting in burn-out.  He thoroughly enjoyed the journey and meeting each milestone with vigor and elan.  The system can also be referred to as a chain of smaller stepping stones each of which is building on the other. My goal is to become a published author in 12 months, so I have to write 500 words every day. 
3.       Keep track of your progress.  It needn’t be elaborate or fancy, but it does need to be within eye sight every day.  A simple calendar and red marker to cross off the days on which you succeeded to accomplishing the daily win will suffice.  I also used a very simple concept of plain white recipe cards placed strategically on my desk.  Each day I wrote a mantra, quote or promise to myself in regard to my fitness and nutrition goals.  At the bottom I made note of the three daily task each with its own box to check off once accomplished.  To my surprise, I managed to develop a habit for my daily fitness schedule of biking 16 km and walking 3 km after only 10 days.  Having my micro-goals in front of me for most of the day, reminded me to stay on track.
4.       Set realistic goals and keep the bar low to begin with.  Making progress is a key factor in reaching our goals.  Experiencing progress provides us with the necessary rocket fuel to keep moving forward.  Even small bouts of progress can give us a surge in motivation and confidence that comes along with small wins.    
 
“It’s so hard as humans to keep going without a sense that we are making progress.  We lose our will to act when we can’t sense forward movement/propulsion in our efforts. For this reason, we have to pay more attention to the small wins – little glimmers of progress.  So, encourage and look for micro-progress in yourself and others; motivation is restored; confidence surges, and with it, there will be a higher likelihood of achieving your end goal and more success.” 

 
Some takeaways for everyday life:
 
Ø  Small wins help us with habit development and help us feel like we’ve accomplished something.
Ø  Small wins are important progress points on your way to your goal.  They are measurable and can easily be tracked.
Ø  Small wins should be seen as micro-victories and celebrated along the way.
Ø  Small wins create more motivation which snowballs into the development of bigger goals.
Ø  Small wins are milestones providing you with confidence that you are keeping the promises you make to yourself.
Ø  Small wins are manageable chunks of a bigger end goal.
Ø  By changing the way you look at small wins, you could completely alter your perception of the outcome.  Meaning – being pleased with the small wins and your progress points, you will be happier along the way.

Small wins hold so much power and deserve their spot in the limelight of goal achievement.  These incremental steps pave the way to success and allow us to measure our progress, without which we may not muster up the necessary motivation to push forward in the attainment of our goals.

Recognize them.

Track them.

Celebrate them.

In the words of John C. Maxwell, “Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time.”

That’s your morning pep talk on small wins. 

Now let’s go out and tackle the day.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

A Vote of Confidence

by ConfidencePosted on No Comments

You may be chipping away at your confidence without even knowing it! 

This revelation came to me today whilst doing my workout and listening to an interview with the well-known speaker.

We are all born with a body full of Vitamin C – known as confidence.  You may not remember this but as a baby you tried to do all sorts of things like crawling to get to the toy that caught your eye across the floor, or you attempted your first steps to follow your pet dog out of the room or to step into the outstretched arms of a loved one.  Did we fall down? YES. Did we try again? YES. Did we fail numerous times without really feeling defeated?  YES.  None of this broke down our confidence in wanting to achieve those simple things in life. 

We go through life experiencing so many ups and downs, successes and defeats, wins and losses, forward propulsion as well as emergency break situations.  All of which shape our minds into believing what we are capable of doing.  As a child, the sky is the limit, and we know no limitations.  However, as adults we are very aware, oftentimes too conscious, of what could go wrong and what might happen that we do not move forward in life full of conviction and confidence toward our dreams.

The point I am trying to make here is that confidence is deep within all of us.  As a child and through your teenage years, your confidence level was influenced by your peers, loved ones, environment and to a large extent school as well as teachers.  These factors either built you up or knocked you down diminishing your confidence each time. 

You may have carried these limiting beliefs into adulthood stemming from those experiences – both in a positive and negative sense.  We have all met people who exude confidence and are willing to go after anything they want.  But there are also people out there who avoid trying something new for fear of failure or not being good enough.  Fear and limiting beliefs will hold you in place and govern your mind if you allow them to. 

In order to create more confidence or ‘restore’ some Vitamin C back in your daily life, I want you to imagine the following:

Picture yourself as a larger-than-life, breathtaking statue made of exquisite marble standing on a pedestal.  Your pose is one of self-assurance, confidence and courage beautifully presented in your most elegant robe. An impressive sight.

Confidence. If you have it, you can make anything look good.

Diane von Furstenberg

You are that woman.  Now and forever.

But what I realized today…

Every time we “cheat” on ourselves, we chip away at this amazing sculpture.  Every time we give in to the belief that we are not worthy, we chip away some more.  Every time we believe the voice in our heads telling us we can’t do it, another small piece of marble falls to the ground.

You, I, we all have dreams and goals we would love to achieve.  And, we all know that in order to move closer to the end goal, there are action steps involved.  These steps make or break our progress, motivation and ultimately our success.  But, how are these steps related to confidence?

I strongly believe that confidence is closely linked to trust in ourselves.  We instill and restore the trust factor by following through on our action steps.  Every little step taken towards our goal demonstrates to us that we are staying true to ourselves.  It’s like a vote of confidence. 

In other words, if you follow the plan and do the tasks required to move the needle forward in attaining your goal, you’re voting for yourself, your self-esteem and confidence. YOU WIN!

However, if you fall short of the intended actions that are necessary to make progress, for what reasons, you are voting for your comfort zone, possibly your limiting beliefs, your fear and ego trying to keep you in the “safe zone” of your mind.  In this case, you not only lose but you take a hammer and chip away a chunk of marble representing your confidence. 

Your confidence in yourself gets crushed bit by bit if you fail to follow through on the actions you set for yourself.  Your trust in yourself crumbles away each and every time you quit on your goals, give up or fall short of the planned action, cheat on yourself, don’t follow through.

It’s not hurting anyone else when I don’t do the full workout I had planned on executing.

It’s not affecting anyone else when I indulge in the dessert, I had planned on skipping after dinner.

It’s not hurting anyone else when I watch TV instead of working on my business according to my plan.

It’s not affecting anyone else if I sit on the couch scrolling social media instead of getting outside in nature for a walk, which was one of my daily goals.

Your lack of follow through on your daily habits/actions only affects YOU, your confidence, your trust in yourself, maybe your health, but definitely your thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

This is the reason I close off the majority of my posts with…

Spark your inner hero and make yourself proud. 

Confidence always lies within you but you need to find it inside you. Confidence is a self-made thing and you will find it with daily achievements. 

You have to impress yourself, not others. 

You have to look in the mirror and feel proud about what you’ve achieved.

You have to stay true to yourself – each and every day of your life.

So, take ownership of your daily actions, build your confidence by following through on your plan, be proud of every small step forward and feel great about yourself.

I am your biggest cheerleader and advocate.  You’ve got this!

Til next time,

Lisa xo