Mindset Lessons From Tennis Legend – Serena Williams

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/IzQCAMRUtwb

Let’s take a brief moment to set the stage….

What is the mindset of a champion?  It is flexible and strong.  Champions have the ability to deal with setbacks and hurdles, but they also have a very strong will to succeed and overcome failures as they arise.  They have a rock-solid belief in themselves which keeps them mentally adept and resilient.

As an American tennis player, Williams’ name is synonymous with the likes of tennis greats such as Graf, Navratilova and Evert. She has won gold medals at the Olympic Games, been the top seed for 253 weeks during her illustrious career and has become a household name, even for those who don’t follow the sport of tennis.

Serena dominated the game over the span of 27 years and revolutionized the game in many ways, not just with her bold fashion choices on the court and her wicked serve, but also her strong, unshakeable  mindset has been inspiration for many people all over the world. Faced many times with criticism, racism and defeat, she never gave up and her determination was unwavering.

She has definitely experienced her fair share of ups and downs but her attitude toward winning and achieving her goals exemplify a growth mindset, one we can use as an example and learn from.

There was a pivotal point in her career when she was attempting to break the record of winning 17 major tournaments.  She tried hard to win her 18th, but failed over and over again due to the immense pressure she had placed on herself to achieve this goal.

That’s when her coach had to step in and challenge Serena to shift her mindset.
“Why are you trying to get to 18 major wins?  Your goal should be 30 or 40.  18 is such a low goal.”

This conversation shifted Serena’s entire vision for what she wanted to aim for and what she thought was possible in her tennis career. 

After some reflection, Serena commented, “To me, it made so much sense.  I set my goal for what was in sight.  I think that subconsciously, a lot of people set their goal(s) on what is already there.  Why not reach for a higher goal?  I really learned from that.  Why would I reach for that when there’s more.”

This was a breakthrough for Williams.  It shifted both her mindset as well as her entire approach to the game.  She stopped focusing on the short term and relaxed, which changed the game for her and it became fun.

This shift in her mindset helped her go on to win four major tournaments in a row. 

So, we have the first key takeaway from this female tennis legend.

Don’t sell yourself short by aiming for ‘safe goals’.  Rather, set huge, scary goals that force you to work hard and get out of your comfort zone whilst chasing them down.

No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe.

Stop playing it safe with your dreams and goals, testing the waters instead of diving in. Go all out & trust that the answers will come. You got this!  ~Shanshera Quinn

Williams is an excellent example of how to apply the growth mindset.  Despite being the top-ranked player in the world, she learned that failing was a positive thing.  She explains, “Sometimes you don’t know how to be better if you are always doing it right. You can just kinda stay in this plane.  Failing allows you to fall and rise up higher than you could if you didn’t fail.”

Failure allowed her to step back and provided a huge opportunity to grow into a better player.  Once she set her sights of winning not just 18, but 30 or 40 major titles, her mindset shifted but so did her identity.  It must be a rude awakening when, as an elite athlete, you realize that everything you have done thus far to reach the pinnacle of your career isn’t adequate to take you beyond the summit.

This is where uncertainty lies, self doubt lives and where mindset separates the good from the greatest.  You need a new vision of yourself in order to take yourself and your game to the next level.

Second key takeaway:

Sometimes you have to take a step back to take three steps forward. Every failed attempt gives us the chance to reassess.  It provides an opportunity to re-evaluate how we can reach the next level and what we really need to do.  Don’t view failure as the end, reframe it as an opportunity to improve. 

Serena’s winning attitude, “Every time I lose, I feel that I get 10x better.”  This is what champions are made of.  The ability to bounce back after defeat is crucial for moving forward in attaining our goals.

Never let a stumble be the end of your journey.
Failure is a necessary and inevitable part of life.  If we do not fail, we will never learn how to pick ourselves back up again and be stronger because of it.
 
One thing I have noticed when watching Serena at her tennis matches, is that she always looks extremely confident from the very moment she walks onto the court.  She lets everyone know, she means business and is there to conquer.  That’s a look of determination, “I am here to do whatever it takes to come out on top and win.”  Winning is embedded in her so strongly as part of her goals and dreams.  Staying the course has allowed it to happen for Serena.
Having confidence and belief in yourself is part of a champion’s mindset. You have to work on developing that yourself.  Work on improving your skills DAILY.
Third key takeaway from a winning mindset:

Show up confidently and believe in your abilities.  Tap into your inner determination, stay persistent and focus, focus, focus! Know exactly what it is you are aiming for and don’t let anything get in your way.
 
Show up in every single moment as if you’re meant to be there.

Take a stand for yourself and refuse to let other people steal your joy today and forever.
The winning combination:  determination, persistence, focus + tenacity = success
 
Although, Serena had 21 Grand Slam titles to her name, she was only one title away from beating Steffi Graf’s record in 2015, which she really wanted to achieve.  Putting immense pressure on herself, she came close but lost 3 championships in a row. 

Many tennis players may have thrown in the towel and retired happily with the reassurance they had accomplished so much during their careers and realizing the competition was getting considerably stronger and younger year after year. 

Knowing all this, did Serena quit her pro career?  No, she had a goal she was pursuing and was determined to make it happen.  There was no giving up, throwing in the towel, being satisfied with her accomplishments so far.  At Wimbledon 2016, she did it.

Fourth key takeaway:

Never give up and never look at everyone else in your field.  Comparing yourself to others isn’t being fair to yourself.  Your only competitor is YOU – every day, all day.  The only time you should think or consider others and what they have achieved is to internalize, “If they can do it, so can I.”  Stay focused on your vision and what you want to accomplish.  Forget the rest.

Even though she is a tennis player, these principles can be applied to your life or business as well.

Serena’s mindset is so powerful and a great example of how maintaining a growth mindset will help you reach new heights.

The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

Till next time.
 
The mindset of a champion is:  Nothing is unreachable, nothing is unattainable.

We can all be a champion too, by applying the same mindset and determination that a true champion like Serena exemplifies.

Here are a few of my personal favourites from one of the most influential female athletes of all time and a true role model for girls and women around the world:

“When you lose, you get up, you make it better, you try again.”
“I think in life you should work on yourself until the day you die.”
“There’s always something you have to give up for success. Everything comes at a cost.  Just what are you willing to pay for it?”
“Everyone’s dream can come true if you just stick to it and work hard.”
“Work hard, train hard, think fast, think win.”
“I don’t like to lose at anything.  Yet, I have not grown from my victories, but from my setbacks.”
“You can be whatever size you are, and you can be beautiful both inside and out.”
“I always believe I can beat the best, achieve the best.  I always see myself in the top position.”
“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another.  We should raise each other up.  Make sure you’re very courageous:  be strong, be extremely kind, and above all, be humble.”
“I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.”
“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.”
 
I love learning from top athletes and one common thread I see is they have this deep-rooted passion, a desire to make it no matter what gets in their way.  Along their journey, people tell them that they will never make it, their chances of succeeding are so low.  Does that get them down or cause them to give up?  No, they go after their dreams regardless.  They face adversity and laugh at it.  They say, “So, you think I can’t do this, well, just watch me.”  There’s a lot to be learned from this kind of attitude.

With love,

Lisa xoxo

Setting Micro Habits

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb


As human-beings, we are habitual creatures by nature.  I would even say – our habits keep us grounded.  Everyday life is full of habitual actions – some on a larger scale and others are rather small, insignificant level. In many respects, habits create our routines from the minute we wake up to the time we close our eyes and fall asleep at night.

Generally, people categorize habits as either good or bad.  There rarely seems to be an in-between category.  In today’s post, I would like to challenge you to review your habits from a slightly different perspective.

I think we can all agree on what falls into the two main categories of habits which are affecting you positively or negatively.  Brushing your teeth in the mornings and evenings, exercising daily, eating regular, nutritious meals, keeping your mind fit through learning or reading, going outside for a walk in the fresh air, reducing or eliminating harmful substances (i.e. alcohol and tobacco), getting enough sleep, interacting with family and friends on a regular basis, etc.  This list varies depending on each individual.

Some harmful habits might be:  sitting too long at your desk, watching too much T.V., scrolling on social media instead of getting in some exercise, consuming unhealthy snacks between meals, eating too much processed food or deep fried dishes, worrying too much about future events, isolating oneself, not indulging in adequate self-care.  And the list goes on here too.

Many of these activities are not consciously planned but rather executed instinctively.  For example, grabbing your toothbrush during your morning routine or cleansing followed by moisturizing your face.  It’s all part of a well-established routine, and there is no need to remind yourself about doing it.  There aren’t any excuses that get in the way of doing it.  You feel great once it’s done.

On the flip side, we are often confronted with decisions and choices each and every day that may lead us to sway from our positive habits.  For instance, when you are preparing a meal and you are staring into the fridge at possible ingredients, you are faced with several decisions.  Since I am really hungry, do I quickly grab some cheese (I can hardly ever resist it) and a few crackers while I am putting together this really healthy, wholesome salad? 

Or, do I recognize this as a ‘bad’ habit and stick to the plan of eating a nourishing salad without added calories prior to enjoying the meal?  This type of habitual behaviour falls into the conscious habits we all encounter on a daily basis.

Changing or altering habits can be challenging and frustrating all at the same time.  We tend to fall back into our old, known patterns of behaviour rather than forcing ourselves to get uncomfortable by taking a new path toward a new habit or change in our lives.  It requires an immense amount of conscious effort to make the better choices and completely neglect the voices in our head telling us to stick with what is “easy, familiar, comforting”.

For this reason, it is important to break down habits into miniscule parts and attempt each part step-by-step gaining momentum as you move through the progression of forming a habit.

If, for instance, I wanted to develop an exercise routine in order to improve my level of fitness.  Doesn’t everyone want some level of fitness AND to be able to follow through on an exercise routine at least 4 – 5 times a week, if not daily?  I certainly do, and for very specific health-related reasons, I have to now.

Knowing what I do about the formation of “healthy” habits, I begin challenging myself to a micro habit for one week.  In my mind, if I can practice this small part of a bigger goal over the course of a week, I will be pleased with myself and gain momentum toward the next, bigger step.  In doing so, I also gain more trust in myself as well as confidence that I can, indeed, follow through with what I need to do – exercise.

What does this micro goal/habit look like for me personally?  It started with biking on my stationary bike for just 5 minutes.  I completed this every day for one week and at the end of this time, I felt like adding and committing to more time.  It felt great for my body, and it was manageable to carve out the time each day.  Side note:  we all have the time; we simply don’t prioritize wisely.  I had to keep reminding myself – the day has 24 full hours and there is NO excuse for not taking 5 minutes for my health.

My mini, micro habit turned into a medium level habit as the weeks progressed.  Making sure not to overdo it, get frustrated and quit, I took it very slowly and progressed gradually.  Constantly reminding myself that any little amount of forward momentum and progress was better than none at all. 

Slowly but surely, I worked my way up to a macro habit, which was biking 40 minutes each day. Such a simple task, yet so profoundly difficult to implement into one’s lifestyle.  Now, when I get on the bike, it is almost as if my body craves the exercise.

Since I would like to end on a positive note, I will not go into how detrimental routines go from being small, micro habits and end up being significantly bad in nature to your health, wealth and wellbeing.  I think we have all been there and can relate on some level to poor habits. 

If you feel like change is necessary in one area of your life, I challenge you to do the following:

1.)     Review and record the habits you have formed – both the good ones and bad ones.
2.)     Take a hard look at the changes you would like to make.  List them out.
3.)     Choose ONE habit you would like to shift for the better.
4.)     Break this habit down into tiny steps.
5.)     Commit to changing this habit one step at a time (adding or eliminating one behaviour).
6.)     Using cue cards or sticky notes, write a reminder for yourself of your habit adjustment and place these reminders strategically around the house, office, car or mirror.
7.)     Just get started with this ONE small habit and see your momentum increase as the days go by.
8.)     Be proud of yourself at the end of a week.  Celebrate or reward yourself for being successful.
9.)     Once the first tiny step/habit is manageable and you feel ready for the next level, adjust your new habit accordingly to reflect your next-level of commitment.
10.)  Congrats!  You have sparked a fire inside of yourself that will ignite your inner motivation to continue.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo
 

Shift Your Mindset For Growth

by Lisa OberbichlerConfidence, Habits, MindsetPosted on No Comments

LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE HERE -> https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/f4zsDptStwb

Have you ever wondered what exactly is holding you back from reaching your goals?

Or, why do some people achieve massive success and others just stay stagnant?  What do they have that you don’t?  Why can’t you create more momentum and level up your life?

The answer to this is both simple and yet complex  –  it’s mindset.  The people who are unstoppable when it comes to going after their dreams have developed a strong mindset and therefore, can stay the course no matter what circumstances arise, or eventual setbacks occur.

The book written by Carol Dweck entitled “Mindset” is an excellent read.  Upon its release, many professionals around the world took a moment of pause and re-evaluated how they approached their jobs as coaches, educators, bosses and even parents.  There are countless examples from all industries and job fields of how a “fixed” mindset played out and how it affected the person’s learning and general approach to life’s situations.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, she outlined how someone with a growth mindset reacted to various situations – positive or negative – and how they used the situation to grow and develop their strengths.

I’ve read the book a few times now and each new read provides further insight into how our minds truly react in certain situations, but more importantly, how we, as individuals, can shift our thoughts and actions to move from a fixed mindset to one that is open to challenges, a mind that embraces hard work as well as effort to achieve new things – in short, developing a growth mindset.

You see, we often set artificial limitations on our own abilities.  For example, we may believe that we will never be good at creative writing, public speaking or other valuable skills.  We fall into the “I can’t…” or “I will never be able to…” mode, which, is based on a few early attempts to do these things but they didn’t go well or ended with a negative experience.

Think back to previous experiences in your own life.  You may have tried to follow a diet and you weren’t able to stick to it and gave up after a short period of time.  It left you feeling deprived of your favourite foods and feeling rather miserable, especially after you quit and gave up on your commitment to succeed.

You may even recall situations during your school time when you received a less than stellar mark on your test. Or the time you didn’t make the school basketball team.  Or the moment you stepped on stage to deliver a public speech and you felt so awkward and embarrassed when your peers started laughing.

The book “Mindset” by Dweck talks a lot about unlocking your full potential by maintaining a growth mindset. Rather than assuming our abilities are static or fixed (unchangeable), this mindset recognizes that we can develop new skills over time – with effort and the willingness to keep going.  With slight shifts to our mindset, we can unlock new options for ourselves and others.
With this in mind, I’d like to explore some points taken from this book.


The first point is comparing the so-called fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

The way we think about and perceive our own abilities as well as our intelligence significantly impacts the trajectory of our lives. This book sheds light on how to develop and maintain a growth mindset as opposed to falling into the trap of a fixed mindset.  So, let’s briefly look at the differences between the two.

Fixed Mindset
People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are largely set in stone. They also think they were born with certain natural traits and their level of intelligence is fixed too.  As a result of this, they often concentrate their energies on validating their already existing abilities instead of challenging themselves to learn and grow.
Unfortunately, this can cause someone to assume they will never be good in certain areas of their life.  Sometimes they experience difficulty in learning new things because they assume they lack the natural abilities needed to be successful in that particular area.

Having been an educator for 30 + years, I encountered this fixed mindset far too many times.  In fact, it broke my heart when I started working with children, who believed they could never get good marks in math or that they would ever be able to read.  They had experienced failing grades, feeling embarrassed in class when asked to read aloud, being put on the spot when called upon to answer the teacher’s question in front of all their peers, and the list of negative experiences goes on and on.  These children came to me completely deflated of all confidence, self-esteem, self-belief and feeling like a complete failure.
 
A further example, children would come to lessons and say things like, “Well, no wonder I am not good at math.  My mother didn’t do well in math and she hates it too.”  This particular belief passed on from a parent to a child was truly a difficult one to shift.  From that point on, I tried very hard to educate parents on the influence they had on their child’s ability and attitude towards school subjects.  I also recommended they all read Dweck’s book to gain much needed insight into mindset and how it affects our general attitude toward learning.  Did any of them actually ready it?  I’m not sure.  But I like to think I helped those children who thought they were incapable of developing a new mindset toward school work and their own ways of looking at and solving hurdles that arose.
 
Growth Mindset
People having a growth mindset also believe that they begin life with natural strengths.  But the difference here is that these people view this as only a starting point and understand they can learn and grow through hard work and persistence.  So, they perceive their abilities as a foundation for future growth.

Of course, they still have to work through difficulties and challenges when it comes to learning something new.  But, rather than feeling permanently stuck or limited, they see setbacks as a sort of challenge that they will overcome.  This results in invested effort on their part, trying different strategies or even look for feedback in order to overcome these difficulties.

The quote by Henry Ford sums it up quite nicely,
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I wish everyone would take a moment to really internalize this.  How many times are we stopped in our tracks because we think we are not capable of doing something or we hold ourselves back from attempting a new skill in the belief that we just don’t have the ability?

In my life coaching business, I hear people talking about things they think they can’t do all the time.

I can’t cook. 

I can’t sing worth a darn. 

I can’t draw anything let alone paint – I have zero artist talent.

I couldn’t possibly start a business.

I can’t stick with a diet and lose the weight at all – so why should I even try. I’ll just accept it (and remain unhappy with myself).

I really want to write a book, but I would never be able to do it.

I would love to complete a triathlon someday, but I can’t swim.

Does this sound like you?  Have you ever, and be honest now, said or thought you weren’t capable of doing something and then you didn’t even try? 
Don’t fret, because you’re not alone and the good news is…you can shift your thinking.  The first step is realizing it and then the next step is flipping the script to develop a growth mindset.

I think it’s important to mention that everyone has a mixture of both mindsets depending on the context.  We may have a growth mindset in areas in which we have experienced past success, yet we are still holding a fixed mindset in areas where we have struggled.  This is perfectly normal, but if we desire change and growth, we should aspire to develop or maintain a growth mindset in all areas of life.

How to Develop and Strengthen Your Growth Mindset

The basis of a growth mindset is knowing and being aware of the fact that we all can develop and improve our abilities.  One way to initiate a growth mindset is to think about skills you have learned and mastered in the past and how you have grown in certain situations.  In other words, consider skills you once found quite challenging but yet you find them easy to do now.

For example, getting up early to work out before the day gets crazy and chaotic

Cooking a meal from scratch which gets rave reviews from the family

Getting in a 5 km walk every day

Remember, nobody is born with the ability to read, write or even ride a bike.  Speaking a language, solving basic math and playing sports all require learning and time to master these skills.  And, we have all learned skills, so we need to remind ourselves that it is possible for us to develop new and powerful skills if we want to.

Now, I do realize that some may argue that certain people are born into this world with talent or an above-average “knack” for certain skills such as math, sports or learning a foreign language. But when the word talent is brought up, a quote comes to mind by Kevin Durant, 
“Hard work beats talent (every time) when talent fails to work hard.”

Naturally, some individuals will pick up certain abilities quicker than others.  And, that’s okay. We cannot control where we start, however what really matters is that we can invest time and the effort to continually improve.  With a growth mindset, we set aside concerns about our own starting point and instead, we focus on the end result we would like to achieve.

Whatever you do, don’t compare your progress to that of others.  I think too many of us fall into this trap. Yes, your friend may have lost 10 kilos in 6 months and you are only down a measly 3 kilos during the same time frame.  Perhaps that person you follow on social media has published that book he/she has been working on within one year of starting the writing process.  And, you have been struggling to get your own thoughts and ideas on paper for years now in hopes of one day publishing your book

But in such cases, we have to consider these people who are further along in their progress may have utilized a better strategy or spent more time practicing or they may have past experiences to draw from in moving toward their goal faster.
 
The key here is – other’s rapid progress is not always related to innate ability. The most critical factor is the effort we put in to learning and growing beyond the base level, which we all start from.

If you can learn to love challenges, be intrigued by your mistakes, enjoy taking action and embrace the hard work involved, not become frustrated by failure but rather explore new strategies and continue to keep learning, this will be the necessary fuel for your forward momentum toward your dreams and goals.  This will help develop a true growth mindset.

I’d like to end today’s podcast with some tangible ways you can shift your thoughts toward a growth mindset, breaking down some limiting beliefs you may be harbouring and take some small steps toward your goals.

10 Ways Adults can foster and develop a Growth Mindset

1.       Don’t be afraid of challenges.  Be brave and take them on and embrace them as a form of growth.
2.       Be mindful of the words you use.  Adding ‘yet’ to the end of your sentences will have a huge impact.  Flip the script from “I can’t cook.” to “I can’t cook yet” Make it even stronger by adding, “I can’t cook…yet but I am willing to try and improve.” 
3.       Never give up! Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, so persevere and stay consistent no matter if you’re seeing results or not.
4.       Be open to constructive criticism and view it as a learning opportunity.  Easier said than done because nobody likes criticism but give it a try for reasons of learning and growing.
5.       Embrace the thought that the journey and process are more important than the outcome, so learn to take enjoyment in the journey.  A growth mindset means the journey is never over.
6.       Learn to reflect on and accept failures.  They are going to happen along the way, but they are evidence that you are trying, and failures do not define us.
7.       Constantly ask yourself, “What can I do differently?” Reframe how you perceive mistakes and use them to your advantage by employing new strategies.
8.       Focus on you and your learning, as opposed to competing with others or seeking their approval.  It’s always about YOU vs. YOU.  How can I improve myself? 
9.       Don’t shy away from seemingly difficult tasks.  You have far more potential and capability than you are even aware of. Remember that!
10.   Challenge yourself daily – I want you to challenge yourself each and every day to try something new, go the extra mile, do one thing that scares you.

Whatever this means to you, focus on becoming 1% better each day.

Just in case you haven’t heard this yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You’ve got this and I believe in you. You have the ability to uplevel your life.   Now, go out and show the world what you are made of, goal getters.

That’s all for today’s dose of motivation.  I hope to have inspired you to grow.

With love,

Lisa
xoxo