A Vote of Confidence

by ConfidencePosted on No Comments

You may be chipping away at your confidence without even knowing it! 

This revelation came to me today whilst doing my workout and listening to an interview with the well-known speaker.

We are all born with a body full of Vitamin C – known as confidence.  You may not remember this but as a baby you tried to do all sorts of things like crawling to get to the toy that caught your eye across the floor, or you attempted your first steps to follow your pet dog out of the room or to step into the outstretched arms of a loved one.  Did we fall down? YES. Did we try again? YES. Did we fail numerous times without really feeling defeated?  YES.  None of this broke down our confidence in wanting to achieve those simple things in life. 

We go through life experiencing so many ups and downs, successes and defeats, wins and losses, forward propulsion as well as emergency break situations.  All of which shape our minds into believing what we are capable of doing.  As a child, the sky is the limit, and we know no limitations.  However, as adults we are very aware, oftentimes too conscious, of what could go wrong and what might happen that we do not move forward in life full of conviction and confidence toward our dreams.

The point I am trying to make here is that confidence is deep within all of us.  As a child and through your teenage years, your confidence level was influenced by your peers, loved ones, environment and to a large extent school as well as teachers.  These factors either built you up or knocked you down diminishing your confidence each time. 

You may have carried these limiting beliefs into adulthood stemming from those experiences – both in a positive and negative sense.  We have all met people who exude confidence and are willing to go after anything they want.  But there are also people out there who avoid trying something new for fear of failure or not being good enough.  Fear and limiting beliefs will hold you in place and govern your mind if you allow them to. 

In order to create more confidence or ‘restore’ some Vitamin C back in your daily life, I want you to imagine the following:

Picture yourself as a larger-than-life, breathtaking statue made of exquisite marble standing on a pedestal.  Your pose is one of self-assurance, confidence and courage beautifully presented in your most elegant robe. An impressive sight.

Confidence. If you have it, you can make anything look good.

Diane von Furstenberg

You are that woman.  Now and forever.

But what I realized today…

Every time we “cheat” on ourselves, we chip away at this amazing sculpture.  Every time we give in to the belief that we are not worthy, we chip away some more.  Every time we believe the voice in our heads telling us we can’t do it, another small piece of marble falls to the ground.

You, I, we all have dreams and goals we would love to achieve.  And, we all know that in order to move closer to the end goal, there are action steps involved.  These steps make or break our progress, motivation and ultimately our success.  But, how are these steps related to confidence?

I strongly believe that confidence is closely linked to trust in ourselves.  We instill and restore the trust factor by following through on our action steps.  Every little step taken towards our goal demonstrates to us that we are staying true to ourselves.  It’s like a vote of confidence. 

In other words, if you follow the plan and do the tasks required to move the needle forward in attaining your goal, you’re voting for yourself, your self-esteem and confidence. YOU WIN!

However, if you fall short of the intended actions that are necessary to make progress, for what reasons, you are voting for your comfort zone, possibly your limiting beliefs, your fear and ego trying to keep you in the “safe zone” of your mind.  In this case, you not only lose but you take a hammer and chip away a chunk of marble representing your confidence. 

Your confidence in yourself gets crushed bit by bit if you fail to follow through on the actions you set for yourself.  Your trust in yourself crumbles away each and every time you quit on your goals, give up or fall short of the planned action, cheat on yourself, don’t follow through.

It’s not hurting anyone else when I don’t do the full workout I had planned on executing.

It’s not affecting anyone else when I indulge in the dessert, I had planned on skipping after dinner.

It’s not hurting anyone else when I watch TV instead of working on my business according to my plan.

It’s not affecting anyone else if I sit on the couch scrolling social media instead of getting outside in nature for a walk, which was one of my daily goals.

Your lack of follow through on your daily habits/actions only affects YOU, your confidence, your trust in yourself, maybe your health, but definitely your thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

This is the reason I close off the majority of my posts with…

Spark your inner hero and make yourself proud. 

Confidence always lies within you but you need to find it inside you. Confidence is a self-made thing and you will find it with daily achievements. 

You have to impress yourself, not others. 

You have to look in the mirror and feel proud about what you’ve achieved.

You have to stay true to yourself – each and every day of your life.

So, take ownership of your daily actions, build your confidence by following through on your plan, be proud of every small step forward and feel great about yourself.

I am your biggest cheerleader and advocate.  You’ve got this!

Til next time,

Lisa xo

Habits – Breaking Them Down, Making Them Easier

by HabitsPosted on No Comments

All of us have them.  Not all of them are beneficial for our health and wellness.  Oftentimes, these detrimental ones are rather difficult to break.  You might have guessed it; I am talking about habits.

As human-beings, we are habitual creatures by nature.  I would even go out on a limb stating that our habits keep us grounded.  Everyday life is full of habitual actions – some on a larger scale and others are rather small, insignificant level. In many respects, habits create our routines from the minute we wake up to the time we close our eyes and fall asleep at night.

Generally, people categorize habits as either good or bad.  There rarely seems to be an in-between category.  In today’s post, I would like to challenge you to review your habits from a slightly different perspective.

I think we can all agree on what falls into the two main categories of habits which are affecting you positively or negatively.  Brushing your teeth in the mornings and evenings, exercising daily, eating regular, nutritious meals, keeping your mind fit through learning or reading, going outside for a walk in the fresh air, reducing or eliminating harmful substances (i.e. alcohol and tobacco), getting enough sleep, interacting with family and friends on a regular basis, etc.  This list varies depending on each individual.

Some harmful habits might be:  sitting too long at your desk, watching too much T.V., scrolling on social media instead of getting in some exercise, consuming unhealthy snacks between meals, eating too much processed food or deep fried dishes, worrying too much about future events, isolating oneself, not indulging in adequate self-care.  And the list goes on here too.

Many of these activities are not consciously planned but rather executed instinctively.  For example, grabbing your toothbrush during your morning routine or cleansing followed by moisturizing your face.  It’s all part of a well-established routine, and there is no need to remind yourself about doing it.  There aren’t any excuses that get in the way of doing it.  You feel great once it’s done.

The task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.

By James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits”

On the flip side, we are often confronted with decisions and choices each and every day that may lead us to sway from our positive habits.  For instance, when you are preparing a meal and you are staring into the fridge at possible ingredients, you are faced with several decisions.  Since I am really hungry, do I quickly grab some cheese (I can hardly ever resist it) and a few crackers while I am putting together this really healthy, wholesome salad?  Or, do I recognize this as a ‘bad’ habit and stick to the plan of eating a nourishing salad without added calories prior to enjoying the meal?  This type of habitual behaviour falls into the conscious habits we all encounter on a daily basis.

Changing or altering habits can be challenging and frustrating all at the same time.  We tend to fall back into our old, known patterns of behaviour rather than forcing ourselves to get uncomfortable by taking a new path toward a new habit or change in our lives.  It requires an immense amount of conscious effort to make the better choices and completely neglect the voices in our head telling us to stick with what is “easy, familiar, comforting”.  For this reason, it is important to break down habits into miniscule parts and attempt each part step-by-step gaining momentum as you move through the progression of forming a habit.

The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us.

James Clear

If, for instance, I wanted to develop an exercise routine in order to improve my level of fitness.  Doesn’t everyone want some level of fitness AND to be able to follow through on an exercise routine at least 4 – 5 times a week, if not daily?  I certainly do, and for very specific health-related reasons, I have to now.

Knowing what I do about the formation of “healthy” habits, I begin challenging myself to a micro habit for one week.  In my mind, if I can practice this small part of a bigger goal over the course of a week, I will be pleased with myself and gain momentum toward the next, bigger step.  In doing so, I also gain more trust in myself as well as confidence that I can, indeed, follow through with what I need to do – exercise.

What does this micro goal/habit look like for me personally?  It started with biking on my stationary bike for just 5 minutes.  I completed this every day for one week and at the end of this time, I felt like adding and committing to more time.  It felt great for my body, and it was manageable to carve out the time each day.  Side note:  we all have the time; we simply don’t prioritize wisely.  I had to keep reminding myself – the day has 24 full hours and there is NO excuse for not taking 5 minutes for my health.

My mini, micro habit turned into a medium level habit as the weeks progressed.  Making sure not to overdo it, get frustrated and quit, I took it very slowly and progressed gradually.  Constantly reminding myself that any little amount of forward momentum and progress was better than none at all. 

Slowly but surely, I worked my way up to a macro habit, which was biking 40 minutes each day. Such a simple task, yet so profoundly difficult to implement into one’s lifestyle.  Now, when I get on the bike, it is almost as if my body craves the exercise. 

Since I would like to end on a positive note, I will not go into how detrimental routines go from being small, micro habits and end up being significantly bad in nature to your health, wealth and wellbeing.  I think we have all been there and can relate on some level to poor habits. 

If you feel like change is necessary in one area of your life, I challenge you to do the following:

  1.  Review and record the habits you have formed – both the good ones and bad ones.
  2.  Take a hard look at the changes you would like to make.  List them out.
  3.  Choose ONE habit you would like to shift for the better.
  4.  Break this habit down into tiny steps. 
  5.  Commit to changing this habit one step at a time (adding or eliminating one behaviour).
  6.  Using cue cards or sticky notes, write a reminder for yourself of your habit adjustment and place these reminders strategically around the house, office, car or mirror.
  7.  Just get started with this ONE small habit and see your momentum increase as the days go by.
  8.  Be proud of yourself at the end of a week.  Celebrate or reward yourself for being successful.
  9.  Once the first tiny step/habit is manageable and you feel ready for the next level, adjust your new habit accordingly to reflect your next-level of commitment.
  10.  Congrats!  You have sparked a fire inside of yourself that will ignite your inner motivation to continue.

Every action you take is a vote fro the type of person you wish to become.

James Clear

As you can tell, I have been deeply moved by James Clear’s book on making these tiny changes to achieve remarkable results. The good news is…you can too!

I am on the sidelines cheering you on to do great things. Let me know in the comments below the one habit you will start to initiate into your daily life 🙂

Until next time,

Lisa xo