Epis. 109 – How to Connect with Your Core Values

Today we are going to discuss how to connect with your own values.  We are going to learn how to distinguish our goals from our values and gain direction, meaning and motivation.  And at the end I have an excellent exercise consisting of three simple steps to get crystal clear on your values.

So, once I asked a client of mine about her deepest values.  She paused for a long time before finally answering, “That’s a really scary thing to consider. Nobody has ever asked me that before.”  She was a bit distraught because she just hadn’t thought about it for a very long time.

Unfortunately, I feel this is not uncommon.  It’s far too easy to get bogged down in daily tasks and habits while losing sight of what matters most.  Like a cog in a machine, we might function on the outside but we are actually feeling quite stuck on the inside, repeating the same old motions, unable to change or even see a different way of living.

We might have mindlessly adopted the values and goals of our friends and family, never daring to explore our own out of fear that they might deviate from our cultural upbringing.  Or we might have come to doubt our ability to pursue a different path because we are not smart enough, not confident enough, or simply, not enough.

There are many reasons why we lose touch, and they all lead to suffering – because humans are not mindless machines following a programmed script but rather breathing beings with a yearning for meaning and self-direction.  Without purpose, life becomes empty and dull.

Here’s what values can do for you

Values are chosen qualities of being and doing, such as being a caring parent, being a dependable friend, being loving, loyal, honest, and courageous.  They can be expressed with verbs and adverbs, like teaching compassionately and giving gratefully.  However, they are not goals.

Goals are finite; they are achievements, and once you reach them, you are finished with them.  Values, on the other hand, are enduring, eternal guides to living.  You cannot achieve a value; you can only manifest it by acting in accordance with it.

Your values not only tell you where to focus your efforts and energies but also provide you with a new source of motivation.  The pain you have had to endure along your journey becomes much easier to bear when it’s in the service of your goals and values. And acting in line with your heart’s deepest desires brings a sense of fulfillment and vitality that no material wealth can match.

The values you choose are completely up to you.  If you’re unclear what those values might be and how to implement them, here are a few steps.
This is where it gets pen-to-paper tangible.

I like to call this exercise “Getting to Know Your Heart’s Deepest Desires”

Step 1.  Rate Your Life Domains

Take a look at the following areas of your life, and rate their importance on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 = less important; 10= highly important).  This is for YOU and nobody else.  There are no right or wrong answers here.  Keep that in mind while doing this exercise.

So, here are the domains or areas of your life to rate on a scale from 1 – 10:

*  Family (other than marriage or parenting)
*  Marriage, couples, intimate relations
*  Parenting
*  Friends, social life
*  Work
*  Education, training
*  Recreation, fun
*  Spirituality
*  Citizenship, community life
*  Physical self-care (diet, exercise, sleep)
*  Art, creative expression, and aesthetics

Step 2. Rate Your Consistency

Look at the life areas above once more, but this time rate yourself on how consistent your actions have been with your values.

Step 3.  Write Down Your Values

Take a look at your answers from the previous steps and identify the domains that have a high score in importance, rating a 9 or 10, and a low score of 6 or less, in actions.  There are the areas that need your attention.

Write down your values in one of your previously identified domains.  Ask yourself: “What do I care about in this area?”  “What do I want to do in this area that reflects that caring attitude I have?” “What can I do to manifest this value more in my life?”  And by manifest, I don’t just mean sit and envision it, only thinking about it.  I mean taking concrete action steps. 

Writing about your values has a measurable effect on your health as well as your behaviour, and this is only the beginning.  There are many ways to connect deeply with your purpose and live in alignment with your goals and values. 

Living in line with your values is not just about knowing what matters but also about acting according to these principles.  It’s not a one-time choice but a lifelong journey of choosing and committing.  Again and again.

I just wanted to direct you to another episode I did about finding your purpose and values.  It was Episode 97 entitled “The Power of Purpose” Raw & Real Talk with Joanne Dietrich Muegge.  My guest on this particular episode shared a lot about leading a life of purpose and offered some questions to ask yourself that really hit home.  It has been to date, one of the most popular shows.  So, I highly encourage you to go back and have a listen.  Any episodes are easy to access on my website:  www.inspiration2grow.com.  You’ll find a dedicated podcast page at the top, just click on it and scroll down to find this special episode and to take in any others that spark your interest from the list of over 100 episodes now.

My hope is that you start to implement some of the ideas, tips and strategies that I talk about and I would love to know which ones have been beneficial for you personally.

I would also like to invite you to become part of the Inspiration2grow community on Facebook.  The group name is: Inspiration2grow for Female Goal-getters.  It is meant to be a community of like-minded women who want to grow strong from the inside out.  There will be journalling prompts, nutrition and fitness tips, exercises to try, encouraging conversations among the community and lots more.  So, be sure to join this group for support, new ideas and the necessary rocket fuel to propel your health and wellness to new heights.

You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself, show up for yourself and become the best version of YOU.

In case you haven’t heard it yet today, let me be the first to tell you…

You are incredible, capable and your potential is limitless.  Never forget that I believe in you 100%.  Now, go out there and show the world what you are truly made of.

I hope to have inspired you to grow.

Til next time,
 
 Lisa xoxo