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Close the Gap From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
Today I’d like to provide you with 4 major action steps to create a kind of ‘Success Code’ to help you reach your next level and bust through some limiting beliefs which are holding you back from achieving great things.
I am obsessed with gaps -> getting from point A to point B, reducing the distance between my goals, enjoying the process and rejoicing in the progress along the way. And I constantly look for these gaps in my life and I hope you do too.
For example, the gap between having to retire early and starting my new life coaching business which I absolutely love. The gap between wanting to get my message out into the world and actually becoming a podcaster with listeners from around the world. The gap between poor health due to years of neglect and losing 10 + kilos (that’s only the beginning of my weight loss journey), regaining my mobility and significantly reducing my pain and daily amount of medication.
The gaps look different for everybody. But we all have them to some degree.
Today’s 4 Step Success Code will help you go from your current situation to where you want to be, but…
Implementation is the key. If you are not going to make an effort to change your situation by implementing the steps I am providing you with, then shut off this podcast right now. You will only be wasting your time. My aim is to help people go from ‘just getting by’ to awesome and thriving and that’s only going to happen if you sincerely take the time, put in the effort and follow these actionable items. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s dive right in.
Action Step #1 – Gain Clarity
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have absolute clarity on what you want. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it can evolve over time. So, get clear on WHAT you really want and WHERE you really are. We all have a gap we want to close, maybe in our personal lives or a professional goal you want to achieve.
Clarity is power! The clearer you are about what you want, the more rapidly you can achieve things. Think of ONE thing you’d like to achieve either as a personal goal or a professional goal. Be very specific when jotting this down. This should be something you are committed to doing but have pushed aside and made up excuses why the time wasn’t right. Focus on what it is you want and why you want to achieve this goal. Of course, it should be one that is achievable AND will totally excite you once accomplished.
Is there perhaps a goal in your emotional life you’d like to reach? For example, it might be waking up early and priming yourself to crush the day.
To help you gain the clarity, here are some questions you will have to ponder and write about:
1. What precisely are you going to achieve?
2. Why would it excite you?
3. What would it mean to you?
4. Why are you going to achieve it?
5. When are you going to achieve it?
6. How would it change the quality of your life and others?
Pro tip from a Mindset and Life Coach: You need to establish a very strong set of why’s. This will be your north star and you will refer back to it constantly. These why’s should get you up and hit the ground running in the morning and keep you up at night – that’s how intense your why’s need to be.
Action Step #2 – Destroy and Replace any Story of Limitation
It is going to take some work to identify where the belief came from and developing strategies to counteract this belief and replace it with another. Identifying and destroying beliefs is high level personal development, and can catapult you lightyears ahead in your own confidence and feelings of self-worth.
Now, I would like you to write down the limiting beliefs that might hinder you in achieving your goals.
I am going to give you five questions to help you do just this. Be as honest as you can.
1. What are some stories that got in the way of achieving your goals?
2. What is the new story you are telling yourself now?
3. What is the old belief that got in the way?
4. What is the new belief you need to adopt?
5. What is the old lie that held you back?
Own your truth. Repeat your new belief 4 times. Celebrate it like you just achieved it. Remember, whatever you repeat with enough intensity, you will believe.
There is a philosophy of stretching which goes like this: If you can’t, you must! I believe this is a quote/concept from Jim Rohn, which means if you say you can’t do something, then you must do it and without hesitancy. Train yourself when limiting beliefs arise to just do the hard things. Become a no-limit person.
For reference, I talked about crushing limiting beliefs in previous podcasts:
Episode #5 – Shift Your Mindset for Growth
Episode #6 – 8 Questions to Crush Limiting Beliefs
Episode #15 – Taking Charge of Your Belief System
I strongly suggest listening to these because they offer more suggestions, tips and tactics of how to overcome your limitations.
Action Step #3 – Monitor and Shift Your Language of Self-Talk
Whether you are conscious of it or not, we all have a rather sneaky inner voice that constantly comments on what we are doing. Psychologists refer to this as self-talk. This inner dialogue directs us and tells us what to do in certain situations. Some examples when your self-talk actually supports you are when it says, “Look both ways before crossing the street” or “Stand up for yourself”. This type of self-talk helps us succeed and keeps us safe.
On the flip side, negative self-talk can be very destructive. You might not even be aware that much of this negative self-talk consists of beliefs which were programmed into us in our childhood. We heard them repeatedly and now we believe them and tell them to ourselves each time the same situation or event arises.
The problem comes when we accept this negative self-talk as the truth about us and our life.
· I never have enough time.
· There’s no use. I won’t be able to do it.
· I know it won’t work.
· I’m not good enough.
While this programming happened to you in your younger years, there’s still a chance for you to change your programming. And, you may discover hidden strengths where you previously had problems/struggles. The bottom line is that you are not doomed to live with this negative self-talk forever.
So, I have a few exercises I’d like you to try. Grab a notebook and start consciously paying attention to your self-talk. Write down some of the attitudes expressed during self-talk. What situation do you find yourself in? This is merely for more self-awareness.
According to the National Science Foundation the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before and about 80% negative.
Gentle reminder: Observe your inner voice and take note of exactly what you are whispering to yourself. Then turn around and ask yourself, “Is this something I would say to a friend?” If the answer is no, then be kinder to yourself.
We are so harsh on ourselves most of the time. We really need to stop, turn on the ‘positivity and love program’ in our heads and start showing up for ourselves in an encouraging way, a supportive way, a loving way and most importantly, in a positive light. Release all self-judgement and embrace more self love.
There’s a little trick I heard about, and I thought it was pretty cool. You can go ahead and try it if you like. Place an elastic band on your left wrist (not one that will cut off your circulation!!) and when your sneaky inner voice says something negative to you. Switch the elastic band to the other wrist on your right arm, snap it and reframe the negative thought to a positive one.
For example, if I am in a situation where I think, “I am so bad at technology. I just can’t figure this out.” I would transfer the band to my other wrist, snap it and reframe my thought by stating, “Okay, I don’t know how to do it at the moment, but I am going to figure it out. I’ve got what it takes.”
Essentially, we are overwriting the negative program or thought and replacing it with a new program – to use a computer analogy. It may sound easy, but, believe me that it does take a lot of hard work and conscious effort.
Moving forward, I want you to remember that the words you attach to your experience, become your experience.
This leads me to the second exercise I’d like you to try to break the patterns of negative self-talk.
For this assignment, make a list of some of the words you use when you’re really angry, emotional, sad, depressed. Now, come up with 2 – 3 other words that will be humorous or will help break the pattern.
Be open to humor and give yourself permission to smile, chuckle or laugh during trying times. Look for humor in everyday happenings too. The minute your facial mimic changes to a smile and you can laugh at life, stress is released from your body.
Practicing any of these 3 activities should help break your state or pattern of negative emotion or self-talk. Our aim is to re-wire it, replace it and be able to crush it when the problem arises again. So, you’ve got some simple tools in your toolkit.
Action Step #4 – Take Massive Action Immediately
Taking massive action is the cure all! Taking massive action is the cure all! Taking massive action is the cure all to achieving your goals, closing the gap between where you find yourself now and where you actually want to be. People who have succeeded at the highest levels, have taken massive action.
Sitting on your couch, thinking and dreaming about the life you want will get you no closer to your goals.
Mindlessly scrolling social media and comparing your life to those influencers or highly success people will get you no closer to your goals.
Making up excuses why you can’t move forward will get you no closer.
Nor will dwelling on your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
The ultimate cure for all of these ‘states’ you may find yourself stuck in, is taking action. Getting off the couch, shutting down social media, ditching the excuses and looking for ways to tackle the next step and by flipping the script on your limiting beliefs and shutting down or reframing your sneaky inner voice.
So, if you’re serious about closing the gap, I want you to take action NOW, lock it in your schedule.
Write down 2 action steps that will lead you to your goals. What are they going to be? Get excited, get jazzed about them, get hyped up and ready to move!
What are TWO ACTIONS you can take today to commit and follow through with to kick-start the progress cycle?
Hard truth: unless you have that sense of urgency, you will never succeed. Don’t lose the momentum by putting off taking action until “some day”.
The time is now, it’s time to press “go”.
Remember, it isn’t confidence or motivation that come first or get you started; it’s taking action that actually cultivates momentum so you can reap the benefits of: self-confidence and motivation.
I truly hope to have inspired you to grow.
Til next time,
Lisa
xoxo
