“Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mindset: Progress Over Perfection”
“Welcome back to the Inspiration2Grow podcast—where we build strength from the inside out. I’m your host, Lisa Oberbichler, and today we’re having a heart-to-heart about something that might be holding you back more than you realize…
It’s not your age. It’s not your schedule. It’s not even your willpower.
It’s the belief that you have to be perfect… or you’ve failed.
This idea sneaks into our fitness goals, our eating habits, even our personal development. It’s that little voice that says, ‘Well, you already messed up, so you might as well quit’.
Sound familiar?
Today, I’m helping you break up with that toxic, all-or-nothing mindset for good. I’ll be sharing real-life examples, the difference between a perfectionist mindset and a flexible growth mindset, and giving you strategies you can apply today to stop striving for perfection and start building real, lasting transformation.”
PART 1: The Trap of Perfectionism
Let’s talk about what this actually looks like—because I see this every week with the women I coach
👎 What perfectionism sounds like in real life:
“I had a cookie today. Ugh, I blew my diet. I’ll just start over Monday.”
“I missed a workout, so I’ll take the whole week off.”
“I went off-plan at that birthday party, so I’ve ruined all my progress.”
“If I don’t have time to do my full routine, I’m not doing anything at all.”
This isn’t laziness or weakness—it’s a fear response.
Perfectionism is your brain trying to protect you from failure, embarrassment, or judgement. It says, “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t try at all.” It feels safer that way.
But what ends up happening?
You get stuck in a cycle of starting and stopping.
You feel like you’re either on track or off the rails—with no in-between.
You never really build momentum because you’re always waiting for “the perfect time.”
🧭 What perfectionism really is:
Rigid thinking.
Fear of failure.
Tying your worth to your performance.
PART 2: What a Perfectionist vs. Progress-Oriented Mindset Looks Like
Here’s a comparison I like to use with my clients:
Perfectionist Mindset vs.
Progress-Oriented Mindset
“I missed a workout—I’m off track.”
“I missed a workout—I’ll get back at it tomorrow.”
“One slip means I failed.”
“A slip is part of the process.”
“If I can’t do it all, I won’t do anything.”
“Doing something is better than nothing.”
“Everything has to be clean, healthy, and prepped or it doesn’t count.”
“Good enough is great. My best today might look different than yesterday.”
“I’ll start fresh Monday.”
“I’ll start again at my next meal.”
The difference? Flexibility, grace, and resilience.
PART 3: 3 Practical Strategies to Let Go of Perfection
✅ 1. Reframe the Slip-Up
Let’s say you eat something off-plan or skip a workout.
Instead of spiraling into guilt, take 30 seconds to ask:
“What led to this choice?”
“What can I do differently next time?”
“What went well today?”
🌱 Progress mindset says: Every misstep is a learning opportunity—not a moral failure.
📓 Action Step: Journal about any “imperfect” day and list 3 things you did well. Even if all you did was drink water or take a walk—that counts.
✅ 2. Embrace the 80/20 Rule
No one eats clean 100% of the time—and they shouldn’t.
If you aim to be consistent 80% of the time, you leave room for:
Celebrations
Spontaneous dinners
Being human
🌱 Progress mindset says: You can have pizza and still be healthy. You can miss a few days and still be consistent.
📅 Action Step: Look at your week. Plan in some flexibility: one fun meal, one rest day, one social treat. Make it intentional—not accidental.
✅ 3. Build the Identity, Not Just the Outcome
Want lasting change? Build habits around the identity you want to embody.
Don’t just say, “I want to lose weight.” Say:
“I’m becoming a woman who lifts weights 3x/week.”
“I’m someone who respects her body with food and movement.”
“I fuel myself to feel good, not to be perfect.”
🌱 Progress mindset says: Identity drives action. Small consistent habits build confidence, not massive overhauls.
📓 Action Step: Write out 3 “I am” statements. Read them daily. Let them guide your choices—not a number on the scale.
PART 4: Real Stories of Women Who Let Go of Perfection
⭐ Karen, 52 — The “Start-Over Monday” Girl
Karen came to me frustrated. She was “great” during the week, but weekends? Total derailment. She said, “I do well until Friday night. Then I undo everything.”
We worked on removing guilt from her weekends and building intentional enjoyment.
Now she:
Plans one fun meal each weekend.
Stays active by walking with her family.
Keeps her goals in mind without obsessing.
🎤 Her words: “Letting go of being perfect actually gave me more consistency. I’ve lost 15 pounds—but more importantly, I’m not beating myself up anymore.”
⭐ Melissa, 60 — The All-or-Nothing Meal Planner
Melissa thought she had to prep every meal, every week, or she’d fail. When life got busy, she’d skip it all—and then fall into takeout guilt.
We simplified. Now she:
Preps 3 main proteins for the week.
Has go-to fallback meals (like eggs or a smoothie).
Allows herself grace when things get hectic.
🎤 Her takeaway: “Planning less actually helped me stay more on track. I’m eating better and feeling way less pressure.”
⭐ Tanya, 49 — Emotional Eater Turned Empowered Eater
Tanya came from years of stress eating, then feeling ashamed. She’d try to restrict, then binge, then feel like a failure.
We worked on:
Recognizing her triggers (tiredness, stress, boredom).
Finding non-food ways to cope (walks, journaling, calling a friend)
Allowing treats with intention.
🎤 Her quote: “For the first time, I feel in control. Letting go of the need to be perfect freed me.”
PART 5: Final Words of Encouragement
“Friend, here’s the truth: You’re going to have imperfect days. You’re going to skip workouts. You’re going to eat off-plan.
And guess what? That doesn’t disqualify you from transformation.
Perfection is not the price of progress.
Consistency is.
Grace is.
Getting back up is.
So today, let’s make this our new mantra:
🗣️ ‘I’m not aiming for perfect. I’m aiming for possible.’
Because every time you choose to keep going—despite the mess—you prove to yourself that you’re worth it.
You don’t need to be perfect to grow stronger.
You just need to show up—over and over again.”
PART 6: Lisa’s Story — From Perfectionist Paralysis to Empowered Progress
Before I wrap up today’s episode, I want to get vulnerable and share a bit of my own journey. Because I didn’t just read about perfectionism—I lived it.
For 8 years, I was stuck. Not because I didn’t care about my health or my body. I cared a lot. In fact, I cared so much, I was terrified of failing. I was convinced that if I couldn’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t even start.
I was in my early 50s—teaching, working, caring for others—and watching myself slowly lose touch with the strong, vibrant woman I knew I could be. Every Monday I would start with big goals: clean eating, daily workouts, early mornings. But by Wednesday, life would hit.
I’d miss a workout.
I’d have something “off plan.”
I’d feel exhausted or overwhelmed.
And instead of adjusting, I would give up.
Because in my mind, missing a day meant I had failed. I was so deep in the all-or-nothing mindset that I couldn’t see the truth: that progress is never linear. And transformation is never perfect.
That mindset—of needing to “do it all or not at all”—kept me from moving forward for nearly a decade.
I tried every program, every reset, every restart. I would crush it for a week or two, then crash when life wasn’t perfectly lined up. Then I’d feel ashamed. Embarrassed. I’d wait for “the right time” to start again. But life isn’t perfect—and that “right time” never came.
🌤️ So what changed?
It wasn’t a new diet or a better workout plan.
It was my mindset.
I finally said, “What if I stop trying to be perfect—and just try to be better than yesterday?”
I stopped aiming for 100%. I started aiming for consistent effort.
I gave myself permission to:
Show up tired.
Modify the workout.
Eat the salad and the chocolate.
Rest when needed.
Keep going, no matter what yesterday looked like.
That’s when the shift happened.
That’s when I started getting stronger—not just physically, but emotionally, too.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It took time, support, and a decision to stop waiting for things to be “just right.” I realized that transformation lives in the messy middle. The real work happens on the days you want to quit—and choose not to.
Now, I teach my clients—many of them women just like me, in their 40s, 50s, 60s—that you don’t need to be perfect to transform. You just need to stay in the game.
🌱 How I Stay Grounded Today
Here are a few things I do now when life feels messy or I’m tempted to slip into old habits:
I pause and ask: What do I need right now—food, rest, movement, or connection?
I zoom out and remind myself: One choice does not define me. My next choice is what matters most.
I practice grace, especially around holidays, travel, and busy seasons. I plan for fun. I no longer punish myself for being human.
I focus on routines, not motivation. When I don’t feel like it, I still show up—because I’m building a lifestyle, not chasing a quick fix.
🔥 Closing Encouragement
If you’re listening right now and you’re stuck in the same mindset I was—waiting for the “perfect” time, the perfect day, or the perfect version of you to show up—I want to tell you something from my heart:
Stop waiting. Start with what you have. You don’t need perfection. You just need persistence.
You are not behind. You are not too old. You are not too broken.
You are ready—as you are, today—to take that first imperfect step
If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend who’s trapped in the all-or-nothing loop. Let them know they’re not alone.
And if you’re ready to rewrite your mindset and build sustainable change—body and mind—I’m here to coach you through it. Head to my website: inspiration2grow.com to learn more about my 1-on-1 coaching or transformation programs or send me an email: lisaoberbichlercoaching@gmail.com to get some information about when my next Transform Your Mind & Body Program starts.
Until next time, keep believing, keep growing, and keep showing up for yourself.
You’ve got this and I am your greatest cheerleader and supporter.